Mike: What's your problem?
Axl: You're still treating me like a kid! I don't need you to tell me how to do things anymore. You're telling me all the time. You're making me nuts. And I know I'm the younger lion and I'm challenging you and we're supposed to "lock horns"...
Mike: Lions don't have horns.
Axl: You don't need to tell me that lions don't have horns!
Mike: Well, you just said...
Axl: I know lions don't have horns. I just want to drive my own car.
Mike: Look, I'm older than you. I know you think you know best, but there's still a lot more you have to learn, and it's my job to teach you. It's been my job your whole life!
Axl: Okay, so, is that how it's gonna be, like, forever? 'Cause you'll always be older than me, and Grandpa Big Mike will always be older than you, and there's a guy in Jasper who's like 103. He'll always be older than all of us. Maybe he should drive us home.

Mike: I don't like this idea. I don't get dropped places. I drive.
Frankie: Relax, Fred Flintstone. You can drive to your work, and after you get out, I'll drive to mine.
Axl: Why is he Fred Flintstone?
Frankie: Because he's acting like a caveman.
Brick: I thought it's 'cause he works in a quarry.
Axl: I thought she meant 'cause he powers his car with his feet.
Brick: If Fred Flintstone moves the car with his feet, why doesn't he just walk at that point?
Axl: 'Cause if he walks, he can't listen to the radio. They didn't have iPods back then.
Brick: They didn't have radios, either.
Axl: Obviously, you've never seen the show!

Mike: Listen... You make sure, when you go in there, you know what you're looking for. You need snow tires 'cause you drive in winter.
Axl: Yes, I know I drive in the winter.
Mike: Okay.
Frankie: [v.o.] Unfortunately, whenever you have two grown men in the house, one has to assert his dominance over the other, and, in our case, it was always gonna be Mike.
[flashback to Axl in the kitchen cooking eggs:]
Mike: [sighs] You're gonna want to kill the heat on that or your eggs will be chewy.
[flashback to Mike reading the paper on the couch as Axl laughs at the TV:]
Mike: [grabs remote] Keep it at 26 for sports, 14 for regular TV.
[flashback to Mike walking on Axl about to brush his teeth:]
Mike: You don't squeeze. You roll. We're not made of toothpaste.
[present:]
Mike: Now, listen to me, you don't want to set foot in a car dealership until you've done your research and you know your price. We should talk about this.
Axl: Uh, of course we should.