Frankie Quote #1700
Mike: Why the hell would you agree to do Thanksgiving at 8:00 in the morning?
Sue: Yeah, Mom. Why?
Frankie: Why? I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm the Boy Mom. That's why. I am fighting for scraps here. I got no cards, no chips. I take what I can get. And what I can get is fourth place behind April's parents, her great aunt, and Grandma Tee-Tee. So if April says that Thanksgiving dinner's gonna be at 8:00 a.m., I say, "Thank you, ma'am. I'll see you then!" And that's the way it's gonna be from now on.
Sue: What does that mean?
Frankie: It means that if they get married, do you think I'm gonna have any say in what color I wear at the wedding? If she says yellow, I'm wearing yellow. And when they have a baby, her mom gets first pick at the cute grandma names, like "Meemaw" and "Glamama."
Mike: You're getting a little ahead of yourself.
Frankie: Am I? When Betty Horrigan's son was getting married, she told her daughter-in-law she didn't like the calligraphy on the wedding invitations. That was 10 years ago. Now Betty has to hide in the woods to watch her grandson play soccer.
Brick: I still think you caved too early.
Frankie: Oh, do you think that, Brick? Well, I'll tell you what I think. I think this is April's world and we're just living in it! She's the gatekeeper now.
Features in the collection: Thanksgiving Quotes.
Brick: This book is life-changing. Mom dropped me at the library to find the perfect holiday read, and out of nowhere, it just appeared to me. "The real true behind-the-scenes story of the making of Erich Segal's 1970's classic, Love Story."
Mike: Really? All the books they got in the library, and that's the one you picked?
Brick: Have you read it? It's fascinating. How did I go so long without finding this? It's a Thanksgiving gift, I tell you. A gift.
Mike: You know, the only thing that would have made that better is if strangers were here to see it.
Mike: When was I supposed to know this? I only found out 'cause I went by the house to invite you to Thanksgiving.
Big Mike: Oh, no. You don't want an old man with a broken hip at your Thanksgiving.
Mike: That's true, but my wife does. Please, Dad. Please, please, please come to Thanksgiving.
Big Mike: Oh, I don't want to be a bother.
Mike: It's not a choice, Dad. The nurses say you gotta be discharged tomorrow, and they can't let you go home alone. Don't worry. We got TV and crummy food at our house, too.
Big Mike: You don't exactly roll out the red carpet, do you?
Quote from Frankie
Mike: I thought you just saw them.
Frankie: Exactly. "Them." He's never alone. It's always him and "Ap-ril."
Mike: You got to stop saying her name like "Ap-ril."
Frankie: Look, I have been trying with April. I really have. Like, just today, when we were waiting for Axl to buy sneakers, I thought it'd be nice to take her for ice cream. So I order mine. And then when the guy asks her, "What do you want?", she says... get this... "Oh, I don't like ice cream." Who doesn't like ice cream? It's in the song... "We all scream for ice cream." It's not, "Some people scream and other people just watch you like you're a big pig 'cause you got three scoops."
Mike: You got three scoops?
Frankie: [scoffs] I didn't have breakfast today.
Mike: Yeah, you did.
Frankie: Well, I didn't have a big one.
Mike: Yeah, you did! You finished Brick's.
Frankie: Okay, I'm on a new vitamin that makes me hungry! Look, the point is, I love our son. I mean, he's so handsome, and he has twinkly eyes and street smarts, and if you take away his horrible disrespect for us and the fact that he likes to lay around in his underwear, he is quite a catch. I'm sorry. I think that he could do better than April. See, I said it normal that time.
Mike: I can't see your face.
Frankie: Can you see my finger?
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Don't you see? If April's here, she's gonna want to be in the picture.
Frankie: No, it's not okay, Mike. This is a family Christmas picture, and she's not family. It simply isn't done. I won't have it.
Mike: Why are you talking British?
Frankie: If she tries to get in the photo, what are we gonna do, Mike? What are we gonna do? We don't have a plan in place for this. We don't have a plan for how we want to handle this.
Mike: We don't have a tornado plan. Why don't we start with that?
Quote from The Christmas Tree
Brick: Hey, Mom. Can I interest you in a decorative crock-pot cozy? Now you can leave your crock-pot out where everyone can see and save yourself unwanted embarrassment. It's for the women's club. These glasses are the prize for being their top seller.
Frankie: Let me guess. You're using the cozy money to pay off the peppermint-bark people.
Frankie: Brick, you're running a Ponzi scheme.
Brick: A Ponzi-what, now?
Frankie: You're using money you don't have to pay off the debt you had before, and now you got to go into even more debt to pay off this debt. It's an endless cycle. You're never gonna catch up.
Brick: Isn't that what you guys do with your credit cards?
Frankie: Well, yeah, but we're gonna die before they catch us.
Quote from The Shirt
Frankie: All I asked was for you to clean the bathroom! How hard is that?
Brick: Well, if you want to do it properly, you have to get to the root of the problem.
Frankie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Brick. We are not "root of the problem" people. The surface is where we live. You start chipping away and digging down to the root of everything, the whole place falls apart. The filth and grime is what's holding everything together. You want to see a video of how we fix things? We wipe, we slide, we shove, we close. If a drawer is too full to open, move on to the next one. Never open it again.