Axl Quote #868
Quote from Axl in Land of the Lost
Axl: Welcome! Come in. Come in. Um, we don't have any more buckets or milk crates, so you might have to walk on some ants.
Landlord: Are you the guys who registered a complaint with the city?
Axl: Yes, we are the men who registered said complaint, yes. Thank you for coming out so expeditiously. We were very impressed with your response.
Hutch: Indeed.
Axl: We have a lot of complaints. Hutch, the list.
Landlord: I'm not with the city. The city called me because I'm the landlord. I'm from KHB Property Management. We rented this house to Derek and Andy five years ago, and from the look of things, it would seem they've been illegally subletting to you.
Axl: Look, I don't know what you're implying here, but we have complete authority to live here. We've been putting $550 under a rock every month for like... over a year.
Landlord: First of all, the rent is $400.
Axl: Oh! Derek and Andy, not cool!
The Middle Quotes
‘Land of the Lost’ Quotes
Quote from Reverend TimTom
[Reverend TimTom is playing a ukulele as Mike tries to read the newspaper]
Reverend TimTom: I hope you don't mind. I haven't picked one of these up since the Lord's luau for leprosy.
I saw it lying there and thought I'd play a little. [plays and sings] Oh, Jesus never got to have no midlife crisis No sports car, hair plugs, young blonde wiveses Never traded his robes for tight jeans one day He never quit his job to go write a screenplay Oh, Jesus never got to have no midlife crisis No tattoos, veneers, Botox around the eyeses He never showed up with his hair and beard dyed Never got the chance 'cause at only 33 He was crucified Oh, Jesus never... [Mike reaches out and stops Reverend TimTom]
Mike: Look, I-I-I appreciate the effort, and I get you had to drive over here and everything, but this is not... It's just not. Good luck with the rummage sale. [walks off]
Frankie: [sighs] Look, you were great. Just a little off tonight. I mean, Mike's tough. It was a hard one.
Reverend TimTom: I just think if I had my guitar, I could have done it. The gravity of the message... It doesn't [strums note] come across on the ukulele. Can I come back tomorrow and take another crack?
Frankie: Nope, nope, nope, nope. It's done. We had a window, and we just didn't hit it. But, uh, don't worry. I'll use you again. Have a good night.
Quote from Mike
Mike: You're turning 50.
Frankie: Wait, what?
Mike: Yeah, I know. It's just... I don't know. It's just bugging me.
Frankie: You're bugged that I'm turning 50?
Mike: Your birthday's coming up, and suddenly, it just hit me... I'm gonna be married to a 50-year-old woman.
Frankie: Oh, my God. Seriously? You turned 50 over a year ago.
Mike: Yeah, it didn't bug me the same way.
Frankie: Really, Mike? Really? You're stealing my midlife crisis. So, what, you want to have an affair? Hmm? You want a new wife now? Is that it?
Mike: No. You're... fine. But this isn't about you. This is about us getting old. Hell, I read that Fonzie is turning 70. What kind of world do we live in where the Fonz is 70?
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Look, I should have told you this before, but you can't go right at him. He's like an animal you're trying to catch. If he senses you coming, he's gone. You got to go around and sneak up on the problem.
Reverend TimTom: But you understand, as a man of the cloth, if he asks me why I'm really here, I've got to tell him the truth.
Frankie: What? Why?
Reverend TimTom: Well, lying is a sin.
Frankie: Is it though? I don't really think all sins are the same. I mean, lying certainly isn't as big of a sin as, say... I don't know... murder.
Reverend TimTom: Well, I-I guess you're right.
Frankie: I know I'm right. Now, go out there and knock my socks off. And remember, go around.