Sue Quote #588
Quote from Sue in The Sink Hole
Sue: But what if, you guys? What if? You have to make another will. Without a will, there will be nothing but fighting and accusations, and eventually, the three of us will stop speaking to each other. And years will go by, a-a-and our children won't even know their cousins. And we'll spend holidays apart. I'll be with my husband and children, and Axl will be across town with his family, each wondering if the other is having a merry Christmas, but each too proud to pick up the phone. And Brick, who refuses to choose sides, will be eating Christmas dinner all by himself at a Perkins Restaurant, being served by a waitress who feels sorry for him. You have to make a will, a specific, detailed, who-gets-what, or it'll tear us apart. I've seen it before. Look at Casey Kasem's family.
Brick: Wait. Why am I the one being pitied by a waitress? She's the one working on Christmas.
Axl: My God, can we start this not-talking thing now?
Sue: You see how he treats us? Can you imagine if he gets to decide if I get Aunt Opal's purple cow creamer that you already promised me?
Frankie: Sue, that thing broke years ago.
Sue: You say it broke, but did you see it break? Or is Axl looting from the estate already?
More The Middle Quotes
‘The Sink Hole’ Quotes
Quote from Axl
Axl: [wakes up to find Brick staring at him] Oh! I thought I told you that's creepy!
Brick: Slight snag with the plan. I seem to have misplaced Dad's wallet.
Axl: What are you talking about?
Brick: Well, I hid it between the pages of A Tale of Two Cities, but that was too obvious, so I moved it somewhere. Long story short, A Tale of Two Cities still holds up, and I can't seem to find the wallet.
Axl: You've lost Dad's wallet and you've read a book you already read before? Those are two of the dumbest things you've ever done, Brick.
Brick: Good news, though... to make up for the wallet, I stole his car keys.
Axl: You did what?! Oh, I never should have wasted my plan on you! I should have given it to some kid from the Inner City who could have used it to make a better life for himself.
Quote from Brick
Mike: Brick, you want to explain what this was doing in my lawn mower and why it's not working now? Looks like somebody who was told not to touch it...
Brick: I found your wallet.
Mike: What? You're kidding?
Frankie: Hey!
Mike: I've been looking everywhere for this. Where'd you find it?
Brick: By the mailbox... In the grass. I know everyone else kind of gave up, but I stuck with it 'cause I knew how important it was to you, Dad.
Mike: Huh. It was just laying there in the grass, huh?
Brick: Yes. Yes, it was.
Mike: Huh. Well... [sniffs] Well, thanks, Brick. [sniffs] I was just about to cancel all these credit cards.
Brick: No problem, Dad. Oh, and I found your keys, too.
Mike: Wait. You found my keys, too? [chuckles]
Brick: Yes. Yes, I did.
Mike: [sniffs] Where'd you find them?
Brick: Well, I...
Axl: Brick, don't answer that! For the love of God, dad, stop asking him questions. I just mean... the point is you got them back, so, uh, who cares about anything else, right?
Sue Sue Heck Quotes
Quote from The College Tour
Sue: Hey, Dad... Why do you think the tour guide gave me all these brochures? There's a Cherokee weaving workshop, and here's one on the headdress exhibit at the art museum.
Mike: Hmm, that's weird. They didn't give that stuff to anybody else?
Sue: Mnh-mnh.
Mike: I don't know. It's not like you're Native American.
Sue: Yes, I am.
Mike: N-no, Sue. You're not.
Sue: Sure, I am. I mean, that's what I put on my forms.
Mike: What? Why did you do that?
Sue: 'Cause I'm a native of America. I'm a native American.
Mike: Sue, now they think you're Native American!
Sue: Right, a native American.
Mike: [sighs] Say, "I'm a native American."
Sue: I'm a native American. Oh! I hear it now. Well, what was I supposed to check? There was no other option that seemed right. It's not like we're "ca-kah-zee-an."
Mike: Actually, Sue, we are.
Sue: What?! Oh, my God, this is horrible! They're gonna think that I tried to pull one over on them, that I lied on my forms, and it says it's a felony to lie on those forms. Oh, my God! I committed a felony! [music box plays] [vomits]
Quote from Film, Friends and Fruit Pies
Mike: Hang on a sec. Where's all this money coming from?
Sue: Well, I've been using my Spudsy's money, and I popped all the quarters out of my 50 states collector's book, and I've been donating plasma. I'm not exactly sure what plasma is, and I don't know if you need it, but, from the way I've been feeling, I'm guessing you do.