Frankie: [v.o.] So Mother's Day was here, and I woke up to a sound I'd never heard before... Silence.
Frankie: Mike? Axl? Brick? Sue?
Frankie: [v.o.] I didn't know what to do first. Read... Sleep... Ooh, watch Oprah... Ooh, maybe I'd even go to the bathroom without someone pounding on the door. Damn it. Don't have to go. Since I accidentally borrowed a few People magazines from my last dentist visit, I decided to read. And then I remembered something, I'm blind. But when I went to the junk drawer for my glasses, stupid thing was stuck. But you know what? Not a problem. I had a whole free day ahead of me, and I'd been wanting to fix that drawer for weeks. An hour later, I was done. Now I just had to put the giant screwdriver back where it belonged, and the rest of the day was mine.
Frankie: Oh, there's that flashlight. [sighs]
Frankie: [v.o.] So I decided to go through the batteries because you gotta have a flashlight in the house with batteries. But when I went to put it in Mike's nightstand, it was stuck, too. And then I found something you never want to find in your husband's nightstand. Something I couldn't ignore. An unpaid gas bill.
Frankie: [on the phone] Billing! Billing! I pressed "4." I want to talk to a human. Human! Yuck.
Frankie: [v.o.] And then after defrosting the freezer and scotchgarding the winter shoes, I don't even know how I ended up here.
Frankie: Crap. [pulls watch out of the toilet] Oh, no!
Frankie: [v.o.] It can't be 7:45! This can't be happening. I blew my whole Mother's Day.

Mike: How could we forget Mother's Day again? I count on you guys to remember this stuff.
Axl: How was I supposed to know it's even on a Sunday this year? I'm not a calendar.

Sue: He-he-he-hoo. He-he-he-hoo. He-he-he-hoo.
Frankie: Sue, you're gonna pass out again.
Mike: What is she doing?
Sue: I found Mom's old Lamaze tapes. I realized I have been psyching myself out for these driving tests. And if I can control my breathing, I can control my driving. [exhales] He-he-he-hoo. And breathe the baby out. Okay. All right. I am gonna go listen to "Fearless" by Taylor Swift one more time, and then, Dad, you and I are gonna go to the B.M.V. Whoo-hoo! Go, Sue.

Sue: Well, lately, I've been having these weird feelings inside, and I don't get it. See, all my friends have been getting their driver's licenses, but I keep failing. And when Brad told me he got his license, instead of feeling happy for him, I just wanted to punch that smile right off his face. So what do you think that means?
Reverend TimTom: Hmm. Sounds like somebody's dancin' her first dance with that old friend the green-eyed monster.
Sue: What do you mean?
Reverend TimTom: You're jealous, Sue. It's a pretty common problem. Throughout history, many have felt its sting... Cain and Abel, Ishmael and Isaac, the Jonas brothers and 1D.

Sean: $147. Bam. That's it. That's enough to rent the Orson limo for prom.
Darrin: I rode in that when my grandma died. It was awesome. I rode the whole way to the cemetery out the sunroof.