Pat Quote #11
Quote from Pat in Major Changes
Pat: Oh, honey. It's just hard, 'cause right now you're in the middle of it, but if I could go back in time, you know what I would do?
Frankie: What?
Pat: I'd sniff the back of your little neck. You always had the sweetest smelling little neck. I don't think I spent nearly enough time smelling the back of your neck. But then I'd get the hell out of there.
Frankie: Mom.
Pat: Well, it's true. Raising kids is hard. Look, Frankie, here's the deal. You're gonna have lots of toenail moment. Lots and lots of 'em. But you're gonna end up having more good moments than toenail moments, I promise you.
Frankie: Okay.
Pat: And your kids are gonna grow up, and your life is gonna get easier, and they're only gonna come and stay with you and bother you just once every so often. [sniffs Frankie's neck as they hug] Oh, God. Honey, you got to take a shower.
The Middle Quotes
‘Major Changes’ Quotes
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Don't you see? This is everything! My life is forever going to be defined as before toenail and after. "BT" and "AT," baby. How do you go on after something like this? What are you supposed to do?
Pat: Well...
Frankie: Well? Ha! You're stumped. You don't have an answer. Not like Pam. She had an answer. She only had a "p" and an "r," and she got "ardon my French," and now she's got a million dollars and I get-
Pat: Wait. What? Who has a million dollars?
Frankie: Pam, Mom! Pam Staggs!
Pat: Pam Staggs was on the Wheel? Well, she was always so bubbly. They just like that type on the show. Is that good?
Frankie: I mean, she wasn't even that smart, right?
Pat: Mnh-mnh.
Frankie: She was just pretty, and now she's smart and pretty, and she's driving a new Ford Fiesta, and I'm bellying up to the toenail buffet!
Quote from Axl
Axl: Well, we've been thinking, and we've come up with some ideas, you know, for changes and stuff?
Mike: Well, good. Good. [turns off TV] Yeah, I've been doing that, too.
Axl: We think we might need to change her food.
Brick: You know, their dietary needs do change as they get older.
Mike: She's not a dog.
Sue: Or maybe a multivitamin or something. She might need more iron.
Mike: That's it? That's what you came up with? That it's your mom's fault?
Axl: No. We do have another theory. How are things going in the boudoir, Dad? You getting the job done in there?
[cut to Axl rubbing his head in the bedroom:]
Axl: Wow. The old man moves pretty fast.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Yes! Food! Mmm. [eats from the bag] Ohh. Seriously? I just bought this yesterday. I just bought this yesterday! [empties bag into mouth]
Sue: Mom!
Frankie: Shh. Hang on, Sue. She's about to solve the puzzle.
Sue: Oh, my God. Did you just eat that?
Frankie: Relax. Hmm? There's hardly any left. You know, when I buy the good snacks-
Sue: Axl clipped his toenails in there. The chip bag. Axl clipped his toenails in the chip bag! You just ate Axl's toenails!
Frankie: I just what? [screams] Aah! Oh, God! Animal!
Brick: What happened? What's going on?
Sue: Mom ate Axl's toenails.
Frankie: What is wrong with you people?! Damn it, Axl!