TV Quotes

Mike: Frankie, where are you going?
Frankie: No, I can't do this. No. I can't do it. I am not gonna take my son a million miles away. I will not be a part of it. It's just... It's too much. You guys do what you want, but I'm not going. I tried, Axl. I tried to be cool so that you'd come back and visit and I wouldn't lose you forever, but you know what? I'm not cool. I am not okay with this. You know, Indiana Mobile has a family plan for a reason. Because families are tied together. No matter what. We can't all be off using our minutes willy-nilly by ourselves. The minutes are all connected! They are intertwined! 'Cause that's the way it's supposed to be. Indiana Mobile gets it.
Mike: Frankie...
Frankie: No. And you have to appreciate the minutes before they run out. Because this is it. It's really it. [sobs] It's over. The five of us are never gonna be together like this again. Axl's leaving, Sue's gonna take some hotel job, Brick'll be sealed up in his room reading, and Dad'll blow up and I'll find out from a grief counselor! It's the end of an era. And it's never gonna be the same again.
Mike: That's the way it's supposed to be. [they all hug Frankie]
Frankie: Just promise me that no matter what happens or... or where you guys end up, we'll always stay on the same family plan.
Axl: We will.
Sue: Promise.
Brick: Always.
[After the family gets back in the car and drives away, the camera pans down to show the blue bag on the road]

Sue: Axl, you're not allowed to talk about my frozen head anymore. We have a pact!
Axl: Point taken. However, we have no pact about freezing your body.
Sue: You can't do that!
Axl: Yep, it's happening. I'm gonna freeze your body and toss your head into McCormick's Creek.
Sue: You can't toss my head into the creek! Small children play there, and they'll find it when they're looking for crayfish!
Axl: Actually, change of plans. I am going to freeze your body and put a horse head on it.
Sue: Fine. Then I'll take that horse's body and put your stupid head on it!
Axl: That'd be awesome. I'd be the coolest horse-man ever.
Sue: You're lying. You're lying! You would not be happy with a horse body!
Axl: Sure I would. I would win the Kentucky Derby and then give interviews afterward. I wouldn't even need a jockey.
Sue: Then I'll take my horse head and run in the Kentucky Derby, too!
Axl: More like the Kendorky Derby. You couldn't get more than two steps without stumbling around with a big, heavy horse head on your stupid Sue body.

Brick: Hey, Mom. Can I interest you in a decorative crock-pot cozy? Now you can leave your crock-pot out where everyone can see and save yourself unwanted embarrassment. It's for the women's club. These glasses are the prize for being their top seller.
Frankie: Let me guess. You're using the cozy money to pay off the peppermint-bark people.
Brick: Exactly.
Frankie: Brick, you're running a Ponzi scheme.
Brick: A Ponzi-what, now?
Frankie: You're using money you don't have to pay off the debt you had before, and now you got to go into even more debt to pay off this debt. It's an endless cycle. You're never gonna catch up.
Brick: Isn't that what you guys do with your credit cards?
Frankie: Well, yeah, but we're gonna die before they catch us.

Frankie: All I asked was for you to clean the bathroom! How hard is that?
Brick: Well, if you want to do it properly, you have to get to the root of the problem.
Frankie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Brick. We are not "root of the problem" people. The surface is where we live. You start chipping away and digging down to the root of everything, the whole place falls apart. The filth and grime is what's holding everything together. You want to see a video of how we fix things? We wipe, we slide, we shove, we close. If a drawer is too full to open, move on to the next one. Never open it again.