Brick: Ooh, this is nice! Oh, check out that polyester weaving and brushed aluminum finish... sturdy and attractive, yet lightweight. How are you not leaping off the couch in excitement right now?
Sue: What are you even doing, Brick?
Brick: You didn't hear? The fabric on my chair frayed, and so I thought, "Oh no, is this the beginning of the end for my chair?" So I got another one as a backup. The whole family's talking about it. Hold the phone! Maybe this will get you off the couch. A bonus chair! Two for one, baby!
Sue: You have two, but I will forever be one.
Brick: This is incredible. This morning I had one frayed chair, and now I have a backup to my backup. All my problems are solved. Chair-mageddon has been avoided. The chair recognizes Brick. I'm breathing rarefied chair. We need your daughter to chair up. Ha!

Mike: So, that Royal Wedding was fun, huh? Sign me up for the next one. Hey, uh, I thought I'd go out and grab us some donuts. You want anything?
Frankie: Hmm, let me think. What do I want? I want my son back, that's what I want.
Mike: Come on, Frankie, I knew you'd be upset so I was just trying to shield you from all that.
Frankie: Oh, thank you so much. I just love it when men shield me from things. You are so not trying to protect me. You are trying to protect yourself from all of this.
Mike: Can you blame me? Look, I knew if I told you two weeks ago when he went on the interview, you'd be worrying this whole time, so I did you a favor and saved you from two whole weeks of worry.
Frankie: You did not do me a favor. If you had told me two weeks ago, I would be done with my worrying and I would be fine now.
Mike: So, you'll be fine in two weeks?
Frankie: No, I will not be fine in two weeks. I will never be fine. I cannot belive you aided and abetted him in this.
Mike: We didn't plan a bank heist, Frankie. And besides, you're the one who pushed him to go to Europe.
Frankie: Don't you dare throw my good mothering in my face. That trip was to get traveling out of his system. Now our son is actually moving to another city for his whole life. This is like taking our seed and flinging it all the way to Denver.
Mike: Flinging our seed? What the hell are you talking about?

Mike: Sue, how many teams have you tried out for in your life?
Sue: So many.
Mike: And how many did you make?
Sue: Very few.
Mike: And did anyone ever ask you to be in their club?
Sue: Not that I recall. Dad, is this supposed to be a pep talk? 'Cause I'm not feeling any better.
Mike: Here's my point. If people told you you weren't good enough, you kept trying. If they didn't want you in their club, you started your own damn club. You have never let anything get you down. You're the happiest person I've ever met. So, really? You're gonna let a guy bring you to this?
Sue: You're right. You're right! What am I doing? I am Sue Heck. I don't need a guy to make my summer great.
Mike: That's what I'm talkin' about.
Sue: I am strong on my own. That's it. The Summer of Sue 2018 starts right now. And I am gonna spend it with the only guy that matters... my dad.
Mike: Well, I don't want to hog up your whole summer. You know, i-it stays lighter longer.