Axl Quote #1224

Quote from Axl in Hecks vs. Glossners: The Final Battle

Axl: [loud whistle] Oh, I'm sorry. Did I startle you? Or should I say, did my phone startle you? I found a whistle app. It's got Falling Off A Cliff... [whistle sound]... the now-inappropriate construction-worker catcall... [wolf-whistle sound] ...and several fart noises. [farting sounds] [farts] Sorry. That last one was real. The point is, I no longer need your little list.

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 ‘Hecks vs. Glossners: The Final Battle’ Quotes

Quote from Mike

Axl: By the way, you were wrong.
Mike: Yeah? Look around. I know.
Axl: When I was putting on my work shirt this morning, two things dawned on me. One, this shade of blue really makes my eyes pop, and, two, this shirt does not require a tie.
Mike: I don't know why I would want to extend this conversation, but... how's that make me wrong?
Axl: 'Cause you're always up in my grille. "You gotta learn how to tie a tie, Axl. You gonna need it for your job." Well, I've got a job, and the only person in my entire company who wears a tie is the talking toilet logo.
Mike: Look, every man should know how to do seven things, and tying a tie is one of 'em.
Axl: Huh. I don't know why I'd want to extend this conversation, so I won't.
Mike: The other six are... whistle with your fingers, read a map, grill with charcoal, shine your shoes, open a bottle without an opener, and breaking down a door.
Axl: Wow. That's all pretty relevant stuff. Got any more gems like that, just shoot me a fax.
Mike: Why is that funny?
Axl: 'Cause it's old. [chuckles]

Quote from Rita Glossner

Frankie: [sighs] Look, Rita, I am not making this up. My Aunt Edie gave that car to my daughter.
Rita Glossner: Well, then, your Aunt Edie can come get it back.
Frankie: [sighs] She passed away.
Rita Glossner: Oh, ain't that convenient? The only person who can "corraborate" your story is dead? Ha!
Frankie: [scoffs] Come on, Rita. Do the right thing.
Rita Glossner: Hate speech! Hate speech! She's hates me because I'm white!
Frankie: I'm white!
Frankie: You are not leaving in my car.
Rita Glossner: That's right. I'm leaving in mine. I was gonna go get Tang and cigarettes, but I guess my kids will just go hungry. [Frankie screams as Rita drives forward, over her groceries]

Quote from Rita Glossner

Frankie: [v.o.] I couldn't believe in Orson, Indiana, something like this would happen. Who would do such a... [tires screech] [crash]
Frankie: Hey! Hey! Hey, that's my daughter's car!
Rita Glossner: If it's your daughter's car, how come I'm drivin' it?
Frankie: Uh, maybe 'cause you're a thief.
Rita Glossner: It's mine. My boys gave me this car as a gift for bein' a good mama.
Frankie: If it's your car, why do you have an "I Heart Dolphins" key chain?
Rita Glossner: 'Cause I do heart dolphins. They're the clowns of the sea. [Frankie scoffs] Ooh. I know what you're tryin' to do. You're tryin' to provoke me into a physical "alterfication." Well, I'm better than that. And I got two strikes.