Mike Quote #1034
Quote from Mike in Please Don't Feed The Hecks
Mike: You know how many mornings in a row I've gotten up to go to work?
Axl: Don't tell me. Tell Brick's class.
Mike: Thousands. And every one of those thousands, I have to clock in. And if I don't clock in 'cause one of you kids are sick or Grandpa Big Mike's power's gone out again, I don't get paid. And if I don't get paid, you guys are wiping your butts with junk mail again.
Axl: Look, you don't see him when he gets off that bus at school. I do. All the other kids are talking to each other. He just goes off by himself, walking through the wrong door, every day. You think he'd get the right door just once, by accident, but he doesn't ever. It's a little funny, but mostly really sad. So, if we can give him a win here, we need to give him a win.
Mike: No.
The Middle Quotes
‘Please Don't Feed The Hecks’ Quotes
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [mouth full] I was gonna tell you.
Mike: Then why do you only have one fork?
Frankie: It's more romantic? Look, I know I was joking when I said we should trade the stuff in our house for Nancy's food, but then, just for the hell of it, I thought I'd give it a try. So I gave her the good rake, and half an hour later, voilà! Casserole!
Mike: Wait. The rake with the brown handle? That was the Norwoods'.
Frankie: Whatever. I am telling you, I am on to something, here. I mean, think about it... we got a house full of crap we need to get rid of, and Nancy loves doing nice things for people. It's a victimless crime. Except for the Norwoods, but they had to know when they loaned us that rake it was never coming back.
Mike: Just give me the fork.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Look, I know it's not his thing, but if you just told him it's important to you, he'll do it.
Brick: You really think so?
Axl: It's in their DNA. Goes way back to, like, the dinosaur days when the mama and papa dinosaur would protect the baby dinosaurs from people who'd try to put 'em in museums and stuff.
Brick: Hmm. I'm pretty sure that's wrong. But thanks, Axl. I'm gonna ask Dad.
Axl: Great. You know, a bus driver's a lot like a bartender in that, uh... [Brick returns to the back of the bus]
Quote from Brick
Brick: Well, as you may have observed, this route isn't exactly the rolling meat market I had hoped. Sophomore year is nothing like they make it seem in the movies, and it's quite possible that my breaking up with Cindy was a terrible idea.
Axl: Yeah, you're gonna die alone. No question.
Brick: And to top it off, Career Exploration Day is coming up where everyone's parents show up and talk about their jobs, but no parents will be there for me, which means I won't get the extra credit points, and of course, there's the obvious emotional damage...
Axl: Mom will do it. She'll wear a big purse and hit the janitor's closet for cleaning supplies.
Brick: Mom's not allowed to come since that whole thing with 8th grade graduation where she threatened to burn the school down. She's on some district-wide list.
Axl: Well, ask Dad.
Brick: If Dad didn't do it for you and Sue, you know he's not doing it for me. Sometimes I think I hear him run out the back door when I come home.