Rusty: Now, listen. I got something that'll solve this whole deal. We send all the old people to war. We need somebody to fight the wars, and old people, they need something to do. They're gonna die soon anyway. This way, they go out with a real sense of purpose.
Mike: Yeah. We're not sending Dad to war.
Rusty: Well, I don't see any other option.
Mike: Really? You don't see any other option?
Rusty: Look, we'd all like to think peace would work, but I don't see it happening in our lifetime.

Rusty: Dad's all better now.
Big Mike: Yeah.
Rusty: He pooped! [laughs]
Mike: You what?
Big Mike: Yeah, the darndest thing is something was gumming up the works. So don't go eyeballing my microwaves. I've still got a few miles left on me.
Mike: So, you're perfectly fine? You went to the john, and now you have no trouble walking at all?
Big Mike: Feel better than ever. [dances] [chuckles] Just like I told you, son. You don't have to worry about me. When the time comes, I'll just walk out into the woods, lie down, and die.

Frankie: Oh, my God. This is life-changing.
Mike: What'd we win?
Frankie: Free maid service twice a week for a month.
Mike: And I let myself get a little bit excited.
Frankie: No, Mike, you don't get it. I have been fighting a losing battle with this house since we moved in, and now someone who is not me is gonna come in here and clean. I mean, our house is gonna have a pine scent at the end of the day, and not from someone spilling the bottle by accident.
Mike: Yeah, we're not doing it. I don't like the idea of some stranger poking around in my stuff.
Frankie: You listen now and you listen good. I'll get rid of you before I get rid of her.
Mike: Fine. Just don't get anybody friendly.