Brick: We're having an "I Can't" ceremony at school.
Frankie: Oh, no. Is that something we have to go to?
Brick: No, it's an in-school ritual to help kids build a positive attitude. [Mike scoffs] We're each supposed to write "I can't" on a piece of paper along with something we can't do and then bury it in a hole.
Mike: I can't believe they're doing this crap. You know who's not burying words? The Chinese.

Mike: I'm gonna call and invite over a bunch of her friends.
Brick: Oh, no! I can't do small talk! Oh, I should have put that.
Axl: Yeah.
Mike: Come on, guys. I want to do this. We got some extra money from the diapers, so let's do something nice for her. You know, we really got our asses handed to us for Mother's Day. So if we can pull this off, she'd never see it coming.
Brick: Wait, so, all we have to do is be better than Mother's Day? Which one are we talking about? Yellow pants, expired gift card, or loose change in a baggie?
Mike: Somehow, we got to top all of those.

Coach Babbitt: All right, here's all your ball sports. Okay, go ahead, pick them up, test them out. See which one you spark to.
[Brick picks up a volleyball and taps it]
Coach Babbitt: That's a ball, Heck. You're not looking for a ripe melon.
Brick: Hmm.
[Brick picks up a tennis ball, sniffs it and rubs it against his face]
Brick: Mm.
[Brick picks up a football and licks the tip of it]
Coach Babbitt: Look, we only have 45 minutes of study hall left.
Brick: I like this one.
Coach Babbitt: That's a ball pump.
Brick: I like the way it feels on my face.