Brick Quote #684
Brick: [over radio] Actually, I have a question.
Sue: You're a go, Brick.
Brick: Well, Cindy said she wants to take our relationship to the next level, and Axl said I should figure out what that level is and bump it up at least two levels, but I'm not sure that's solid advice. Mom, when you and Dad were at level...
Frankie: Brick, do not take any of Axl's advice. Do you read me? Over.
Axl: I am simply informing him of the levels he'll have to master if he wants to keep a girl like Cindy satisfied. Over.
Frankie: All right, that's it. We're switching cars. Pull over. Over.
Brick: I just don't want to blow this. I really like her. She gets my sense of humor. She's pretty. She provides stability my family does not. Plus, on hot days, I can walk in her shadow. [whispers] Shadow. [normal voice] Over. [whispers] Over.
Quote from Mike
Mike: How you doing balancing the checkbook?
Sue: Well, I must have done it wrong. I have your balance at minus $11.
Mike: No, you did it right. It's us who did it wrong. [Frankie and Mike high-five]
Quote from Mike
Mike: And, Sue, you're coming with me. Let's go. We got work to do. Time to teach you how to balance a checkbook.
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, all summer long, Mike had been dealing with Sue's impending departure by trying to cram 1,000 life lessons into the little time they had left.
Mike: There's a lot of spiders in the world, and I'm not gonna be there to kill them all for you. One's poisonous, it bites you in your sleep, you're dead.
Mike: Okay, late at night, you're broken down on the side of the road, nobody in sight... It's up to you to change this tire, or you're dead.
Sue: [opens bedroom door] Hi, Dad.
Mike: You didn't ask who it was. Who it was is a dangerous stranger, and you're dead.
Quote from Hecks on a Train
Brick: Do we have any details about the cause of Aunt Edie's death?
Mike: Just one. She was 96.
Brick: Interesting. Has anyone questioned Helen Riley? She was the perennial runner-up to Aunt Edie in the church pie contest.
Quote from Mommapalooza
Sue: Okay, so, what do we do? Dad didn't give us enough drywall to fix a hole this big. He's gonna freak out.
Brick: I'm not gonna lie. It's gonna be really rough for you.
Sue: Me? You're the one who did this.
Brick: Well, you're the older sister who left her little brother to do major home repair on his own. Besides, if Dad flips out, I can just play the quirk card. I shrug, I look confused, throw in a few whoops and whispers, lick something if I have to... I'm off scot-free.
Sue: Oh, my God. You're diabolical.
Brick: I am not diabolical. [whispers] Diabolical. [normal voice] It's so easy. [whispers] It's so easy. [normal voice] Okay, that one wasn't planned.