Sue Quote #594
Quote from Sue in The College Tour
Sue: Hey, Dad, did you say you wanted me to get you up at 6:10?
Mike: No one's ever said that in this house. I said 8:00.
Sue: Oh, okay. [door closes, opens] Unless you wanted to get up now since you're already awake. We could get the college tour going early.
Mike: Nope. I'm good. Wait until 8:00.
Sue: Got it. [door closes, opens] [Mike groans] I'm sorry. I just have to say that can you believe in a year from now I won't even be here?
Mike: Why don't you go back to your room now so we can start getting used to what that feels like?
Sue: Okay. Got it. [door closes]
Frankie: You might as well get up now. She's not gonna go away. [Mike groans]
The Middle Quotes
‘The College Tour’ Quotes
Quote from Sue
Sue: Hey, Dad... Why do you think the tour guide gave me all these brochures? There's a Cherokee weaving workshop, and here's one on the headdress exhibit at the art museum.
Mike: Hmm, that's weird. They didn't give that stuff to anybody else?
Sue: Mnh-mnh.
Mike: I don't know. It's not like you're Native American.
Sue: Yes, I am.
Mike: N-no, Sue. You're not.
Sue: Sure, I am. I mean, that's what I put on my forms.
Mike: What? Why did you do that?
Sue: 'Cause I'm a native of America. I'm a native American.
Mike: Sue, now they think you're Native American!
Sue: Right, a native American.
Mike: [sighs] Say, "I'm a native American."
Sue: I'm a native American. Oh! I hear it now. Well, what was I supposed to check? There was no other option that seemed right. It's not like we're "ca-kah-zee-an."
Mike: Actually, Sue, we are.
Sue: What?! Oh, my God, this is horrible! They're gonna think that I tried to pull one over on them, that I lied on my forms, and it says it's a felony to lie on those forms. Oh, my God! I committed a felony! [music box plays] [vomits]
Quote from Axl
Frankie: Axl, have you ever cleaned that bathroom?
Axl: Hey, we're on it. We're flushing every time now.
Frankie: Seriously, if you ever want to have a girl over here, you got to take care of that. Do you even have any cleaning products?
Axl: I don't know. Did you bring cleaning products? [chuckles]
Quote from Sue
Butler Tour Guide: Hi, gang. Welcome to Butler. I can't wait to tell you all about our beautiful campus. [Sue raises her hand] Oh.
Sue: Okay, yes. Hi. I just wanted to say that I am White. All White. So I'm only interested in clubs for White people or art made by only White people. Not native Americans, because I'm definitely not that. So please don't show me anything or talk to me about anything that is not exclusively for White people.
[cut to Mike and Sue in the car:]
Mike: Well, that school was a little out of our price range, anyway.
Sue: I just didn't want people to think that I lied on my application or that I was a liar in any way. I just wanted to make it clear what I was.
Mike: Oh, I think you made it very clear.