Frankie: [sighs] Well, I'm fine.
Mike: You sound great.
Frankie: No, I am. My ovaries are fine. Unfortunately, they're like raisins. And not the cute, plump California ones that dance and wear gloves. They're like the hard, shriveled, sad, deformed ones in the Raisin Flakes we get from the Frugal Hoosier.
Mike: Well, this can't be a shock, Frankie. I mean, you are 50...
Frankie: I know what I am, thanks. [exhales sharply] You don't get it. Because they don't shut men's factories downs. They only shut women's factories down.
Mike: What factories?
Frankie: This factory. I mean, I liked knowing it was open. Now it's all red-tagged and padlocked with bulldozers in the parking lot.
Mike: I feel like anything I say here is gonna be wrong, so... you want to just hug me?

Axl: Let me ask you something. You ever order a glass of wine and think, "Hmm, I could really go for a nice thirst-quenching beer"? Or drinking a beer and think, "Hmm, wine would really add some class to these nachos"? Well, now you don't have to choose, 'cause I've solved that age-old question. Allow me to introduce you to the latest in taste sensation... Bwine!
Frankie: Bwine?
Axl: That's right. Beer plus wine equals Bwine. It was either that or "Weer," but that sounds a little too much like "Weird," and that is just not good marketing. Business major.
Mike: Wait, you're actually planning to sell this stuff? As a beverage? To people?
Axl: Oh, not just this one. I have created several varieties of Bwine. I have a Cabernet mixed with a stout, a Caber-stout, a pale ale mixed with a Chardonnay, a pale-ardonnay, and a fruity yet malty Merlot-enbrau.
Mike: Hm. Ahh... What's worse than bad?
Frankie: Oh, I don't know, maybe it just needs more wine. Or less wine. Or more sugar. Sugar helps with everything.
Axl: Yeah, I'm still fine-tuning my recipes. But once I lock them in, I'm taking these babies public. I'm telling you, Bwine is gonna bwow up!
Mike: [sighs] Just don't go wasting my beer.
Axl: Oh, come on, please. I'm creating a fine line of fine Bwines. I'm not gonna be using your Frugal Hoosier "dented but drinkables."

Sue: Axl. What are you doing up here?
Axl: Sometimes I come up here to think... And occasionally throw things.
Sue: Wait a second. Do you ever throw...
Axl: Acorns at your head? Yes. All the time. [groans] What am I doing with my life? It was so much easier when I wanted to be a fireman or a superhero. God! I wish I was still 17.

Frankie: Axl, I said you couldn't wash your clothes here anymore.
Axl: But you didn't say I couldn't dry them. Uh, please sign here. You've just been Ax'd! Oh, by the way, good news... I picked my major. Sue, dork roll, please. [imitates drum roll, cymbal crash] Buddhist studies! Booyah! Or should I say "Buddha-yah."
Mike: Really? You're a Buddhist now?
Axl: No, I'm not a Buddhist. I'm studying them. It's Buddhist studies.
Frankie: What did you do? Look at an alphabetical list of majors and stop at "B"?
Axl: What? It's perfect for me. There's no class on Fridays, doesn't meet before 11:00, half the time, we meet under a tree... 'cause I guess Buddha was into that. And Buddhism is about rebirth, so I'll learn how my coolness will live on forever. In your face, death!

Brick: Mom, Dad, I've decided I'd like to be popular.
Frankie: Okay.
Mike: Not sure that's really couch-worthy.
Brick: I've noticed lately that all of the other boys seem to get picked up together. I don't know where they're going, but they laugh and slap each other on the back and treat each other with a lot of camaraderie and bonhomie.
Mike: Well... Bonhomie does not grow on trees.
Brick: It looks very enjoyable. And I'm thinking I might want to participate in that kind of thing. I know I'm not very good at the social stuff, so I would appreciate any tips you could offer.
Frankie: Okay. I know you love your books, but maybe you should put them down once in a while and talk to people... You know, like at lunch or parties or at that class we send you to to teach you how to... talk to people.
Brick: The thing is, I've always enjoyed reading by myself at lunch, but lately, when I do it, it feels... Lonely.
Frankie: Aw, Brick. I'm sorry. But here's the thing... it's never too late. You know, maybe if you tried just a little small talk with... [Brick walks off] Brick. [Mike unmutes the TV] Mike!
Mike: He left. I thought we were done.