Mike: I hope he's not gonna charge us to do the whole thing again. It's gonna put us in the poor house. Look at her. It's like a demolition derby going on in there. She's gonna have braces on for six more years. She'll have them on at her wedding.
Sue: What?!
Axl: Why are we still throwing money at this? Just move her to a bell tower in Paris and call it a day. [squirts whipped cream into his mouth]

Axl: I would just like to point out I didn't get to miss a week of school my senior year. You people owe me a full week of leisure time.
Brick: What about me?! It's hard enough being the weird kid. Try being the weird kid who shows up a week late. [whispers underwater] Week late.

Brick: My classmates are definitely getting more mature. Boys are sitting with girls now. There's a kid in the locker room with a beard. If I don't act, I could get left behind, so I dug deep and really did some soul searching, and I figured out what my problem is. I need a new backpack.
Axl: Uh-huh.
Brick: I'm using my "Shaq-will" O'Neal one, and according to a guy on a sports team, he's not even playing anymore. So I'm changing it up. It's a whole new Brick this year. And the new Brick carries... A messenger bag.
Axl: Here's your first message... no one cares.
Brick: Oh-ho, I think they will. See, the beauty of a messenger bag is you can adjust it to your mood. Left, right, over the shoulder, over the chest. Hmm. Maybe with just a slight adjustment. [the bag sags to the floor] I think this is how they're wearing it these days.