Mr. Ehlert Quote #47

Quote from Mr. Ehlert in Heck on a Hard Body

Sue: I won! I won a new car!
Mr. Ehlert: A car?! I'm not giving away a car! That's worth over $15,000! How dumb do you think I am?
Sue: What?!
Mr. Ehlert: You got to read the small print there, missy. "Win a new car trip."
Frankie: Well, that figures. It is Ehlert, after all.
Mike: Are you kidding me?
Mr. Ehlert: "Two days and one night Disney vacation, courtesy of Pioneer Galaxy Travel."
Sue: [screams] I won a trip to Disney World! That is even better than a car! [screams]

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 ‘Heck on a Hard Body’ Quotes

Quote from Rusty

Mike: Rusty, what's all this?
Rusty: Oh, this? It's my new business. We make NFL shower curtains.
Mike: Really? You're making NFL shower curtains? You actually got permission from the NFL?
Rusty: Oh, yes, yes. No. No. Not officially. It's okay, though. I figured a way around it. Check this out. Huh?
Mike: "Cincinnati Begals"? "New York Gants."
Rusty: Yeah. Nobody will notice. It's a proven scientific fact. Your brain will just fill in the missing letters.
Mike: Maybe your brain.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Oh. I'm in training, too. Ehlert Motors is having a "Hands On A Hard Body" contest this weekend. The last person with their hand on the car wins it. Can you possibly think of a more perfect contest for me? I mean, who has more practice standing than me? I mean, I stand off to the side at dances, in gym waiting to be picked. I stand through half my classes because there aren't enough desks due to budget cuts. We're supposed to trade off, but nobody does. [chuckles] I'm gonna win myself a car!
Mike: All right, I got to get to work. We'll pick this up tonight, Brick.
Sue: Yikes, I should get to school. [removes hand from wall] Oh! Shoot. Rookie mistake. Glad I got it out of the way now. I mean, a mistake could happen like that! [removes hand from wall to snap fingers] Oh, shoot. I did it again.
Mike: Okay, see you later.
Sue: [waves] Bye, Dad. Oh, seriously?!

Quote from Sue

Woman: Did I mention I once did a yoga retreat where I spent two days in the warrior pose? Might as well give up now, sweetheart.
Sue: Really? You think I should give up? Let me tell you something about me. I never, ever give up. I have not made a hundred things, but I still try out. [laughs] When they tell me that I didn't make the team, I show up and ask to be manager. When there are no parts in the play for me, I ask to make the programs. The more I fail, the stronger I get! [breathes heavily] My whole life has led me to this moment! So I will stand here on my one burning leg for as long as it takes, so, ha! [insect buzzes] Ha ha ha! [gasps] Aah! I think I just swallowed a fly. [breathes heavily] But I am still not giving up!
Woman: Oh, you can't beat crazy.
Mr. Ehlert: We have a winner! Finally!
Sue: Whoo!
Mr. Ehlert: This is the worst idea I ever had.