Mr. Ehlert Quote #45
Quote from Mr. Ehlert in Heck on a Hard Body
Mr. Ehlert: Howdy, folks, and thanks for coming down to Ehlert Motors' "Hands On A Hard Body" contest. Remember, while the contest is going on, we're still making deals. No job? No problem. No credit? No problem. Miss a payment? Well, then we've got one hell of a problem. [chuckles] All right, rules no taking hands off the car or switching hands. Bathroom breaks every four hours. And the last person standing wins. Okay, good luck, and may the best man or woman win. Hopefully it's a man. [air horn blows]
The Middle Quotes
‘Heck on a Hard Body’ Quotes
Quote from Rusty
Mike: Rusty, what's all this?
Rusty: Oh, this? It's my new business. We make NFL shower curtains.
Mike: Really? You're making NFL shower curtains? You actually got permission from the NFL?
Rusty: Oh, yes, yes. No. No. Not officially. It's okay, though. I figured a way around it. Check this out. Huh?
Mike: "Cincinnati Begals"? "New York Gants."
Rusty: Yeah. Nobody will notice. It's a proven scientific fact. Your brain will just fill in the missing letters.
Mike: Maybe your brain.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Oh. I'm in training, too. Ehlert Motors is having a "Hands On A Hard Body" contest this weekend. The last person with their hand on the car wins it. Can you possibly think of a more perfect contest for me? I mean, who has more practice standing than me? I mean, I stand off to the side at dances, in gym waiting to be picked. I stand through half my classes because there aren't enough desks due to budget cuts. We're supposed to trade off, but nobody does. [chuckles] I'm gonna win myself a car!
Mike: All right, I got to get to work. We'll pick this up tonight, Brick.
Sue: Yikes, I should get to school. [removes hand from wall] Oh! Shoot. Rookie mistake. Glad I got it out of the way now. I mean, a mistake could happen like that! [removes hand from wall to snap fingers] Oh, shoot. I did it again.
Mike: Okay, see you later.
Sue: [waves] Bye, Dad. Oh, seriously?!
Quote from Sue
Woman: Did I mention I once did a yoga retreat where I spent two days in the warrior pose? Might as well give up now, sweetheart.
Sue: Really? You think I should give up? Let me tell you something about me. I never, ever give up. I have not made a hundred things, but I still try out. [laughs] When they tell me that I didn't make the team, I show up and ask to be manager. When there are no parts in the play for me, I ask to make the programs. The more I fail, the stronger I get! [breathes heavily] My whole life has led me to this moment! So I will stand here on my one burning leg for as long as it takes, so, ha! [insect buzzes] Ha ha ha! [gasps] Aah! I think I just swallowed a fly. [breathes heavily] But I am still not giving up!
Woman: Oh, you can't beat crazy.
Mr. Ehlert: We have a winner! Finally!
Sue: Whoo!
Mr. Ehlert: This is the worst idea I ever had.