Pat: Oh. There's my Suzy Q. Oh! I brought something for you. Now, I know that you like Hunger Games, so here's an article about how it's being shown in Japan. Oh, now this is about the dangers of sexting. It's not good, Sue.

Tag: Listen, Mike. I want to tell you something on the QT. You know that cruise Pat and I are going on at Christmas?
Mike: Mm-hmm.
Tag: Not happening. I gambled all the cruise money away playing online poker. I lost it all, Mike. She's gonna kill me.
Mike: Oh. You got to be kidding me.
Tag: For the first few months, I didn't even realize I was playing with real money. And by that time, I was 8 grand in. And every time I thought about quitting, this cyber girl comes up with a big rack wanting me to buy more chips.
Mike: You know, this is the kind of thing you might want to share with a blood relative.
Tag: It's bad, Mike. It's bad. I'm afraid Pat's gonna cut me off in the bedroom.
Mike: Oh, geez. I don't want to know this, Tag.
Tag: It's too late. You're in it now. Listen. Here's what we're gonna do. I got to get Pat off this cruise thing. So, during dinner, I'm gonna keep dropping little hints about the dangers of cruising, and I want you to back me up.

Sue: That wasn't all! You guys didn't see the whole thing. Mom kept throwing me things, and she kept saying, "Put it in the cart! Put it in the cart! Put it in the cart!" And everyone went nuts and started grabbing things. I had to fling myself on the cart to stop them. So, I hope you enjoy your iTouch, Brick.
Frankie: Fine. You guys judge me with your judge-y little eyes. Go ahead. Everybody wants great Christmas presents for low, low prices, but nobody wants to know how it gets done. Nobody wants to get their hands dirty. Well, I did it. I did what I had to do. That's what it takes to pull off Christmas with no money. And it's not pretty.
Axl: I had to drop three classes.