Mike Quote #448

Quote from Mike in The Guidance Counselor

Mike: Frankie, we're not getting a new bed. We just got a new dishwasher.
Frankie: Oh, you're right. We should only get one new thing every 20 years. Seriously, Mike, this bed is a torture rack.
Mike: We need a reason to get up in the morning, and lower back pain is as good as any. Oh. Look, even if we wanted to, we can't afford a new bed.
Frankie: No, we can. I've thought about it. We still have the money Aunt Ginny left me. Do you think she'd want me to just waste it on bills? That's not what she'd want, Mike.
Mike: Knowing Aunt Ginny, she'd want you to waste it on booze.
Frankie: I want a new bed. We need a new bed. I want to turn our bedroom into a sanctuary.
Mike: Oh! Here we go.


 ‘The Guidance Counselor’ Quotes

Quote from Mike

Salesman: Now let's get you two out of here. I'm sure you're busy. Would you like the extended warranty?
Mike: No.
Salesman: Assembly and delivery for $50 is usual-
Mike: No.
Salesman: Old mattress removal?
Mike: Nice try, but no.
Frankie: Let me save you some time. It's all "no." This is exactly how he was with the doctor, and that's why he got the-
Mike: Frankie!

Quote from Brick

Frankie: I made dinner.
Brick: Hang on. I'm on hold with the President.
Frankie: How's the bed looking?
Mike: Like it's still in the box. Sue, pass the chips. Brick, come on. Dinner.
Axl: He's holding for the President. He thinks he can talk him out of the Fitness Challenge.
Brick: Great. I'm being transferred to the Department of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. [whispers] Tobacco.

Quote from Mike

Frankie: You always do this, Mike. I try to change the slightest thing, and you go nuts, like when I switched ketchups. It's just ketchup!
Mike: The old ketchup was good. I was happy, something you'll never be because you're never satisfied... And you're always running around changing stuff.
Frankie: You know, when I told Nancy Donahue that you didn't want to get a new bed...
Mike: Why are you telling Nancy Donahue anything?
Frankie: Because she's my friend. If it were up to you, no one would know anything personal about us.
Mike: That's why they call it "personal"!