Frankie Quote #628
Frankie: Yes! Food! Mmm. [eats from the bag] Ohh. Seriously? I just bought this yesterday. I just bought this yesterday! [empties bag into mouth]
Frankie: Shh. Hang on, Sue. She's about to solve the puzzle.
Sue: Oh, my God. Did you just eat that?
Frankie: Relax. Hmm? There's hardly any left. You know, when I buy the good snacks-
Sue: Axl clipped his toenails in there. The chip bag. Axl clipped his toenails in the chip bag! You just ate Axl's toenails!
Frankie: I just what? [screams] Aah! Oh, God! Animal!
Brick: What happened? What's going on?
Sue: Mom ate Axl's toenails.
Frankie: What is wrong with you people?! Damn it, Axl!
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Don't you see? This is everything! My life is forever going to be defined as before toenail and after. "BT" and "AT," baby. How do you go on after something like this? What are you supposed to do?
Frankie: Well? Ha! You're stumped. You don't have an answer. Not like Pam. She had an answer. She only had a "p" and an "r," and she got "ardon my French," and now she's got a million dollars and I get-
Pat: Wait. What? Who has a million dollars?
Frankie: Pam, Mom! Pam Staggs!
Pat: Pam Staggs was on the Wheel? Well, she was always so bubbly. They just like that type on the show. Is that good?
Frankie: I mean, she wasn't even that smart, right?
Frankie: She was just pretty, and now she's smart and pretty, and she's driving a new Ford Fiesta, and I'm bellying up to the toenail buffet!
Quote from Axl
Axl: Well, we've been thinking, and we've come up with some ideas, you know, for changes and stuff?
Mike: Well, good. Good. [turns off TV] Yeah, I've been doing that, too.
Axl: We think we might need to change her food.
Brick: You know, their dietary needs do change as they get older.
Mike: She's not a dog.
Sue: Or maybe a multivitamin or something. She might need more iron.
Mike: That's it? That's what you came up with? That it's your mom's fault?
Axl: No. We do have another theory. How are things going in the boudoir, Dad? You getting the job done in there?
[cut to Axl rubbing his head in the bedroom:]
Axl: Wow. The old man moves pretty fast.
Quote from The Christmas Tree
Brick: Hey, Mom. Can I interest you in a decorative crock-pot cozy? Now you can leave your crock-pot out where everyone can see and save yourself unwanted embarrassment. It's for the women's club. These glasses are the prize for being their top seller.
Frankie: Let me guess. You're using the cozy money to pay off the peppermint-bark people.
Frankie: Brick, you're running a Ponzi scheme.
Brick: A Ponzi-what, now?
Frankie: You're using money you don't have to pay off the debt you had before, and now you got to go into even more debt to pay off this debt. It's an endless cycle. You're never gonna catch up.
Brick: Isn't that what you guys do with your credit cards?
Frankie: Well, yeah, but we're gonna die before they catch us.
Quote from The Shirt
Frankie: All I asked was for you to clean the bathroom! How hard is that?
Brick: Well, if you want to do it properly, you have to get to the root of the problem.
Frankie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Brick. We are not "root of the problem" people. The surface is where we live. You start chipping away and digging down to the root of everything, the whole place falls apart. The filth and grime is what's holding everything together. You want to see a video of how we fix things? We wipe, we slide, we shove, we close. If a drawer is too full to open, move on to the next one. Never open it again.