Brick: Good morning, Mom.
Frankie: Morning.
Brick: You sleep okay?
Frankie: Actually, I did.
Brick: Glad to hear it. I'm having cereal. Can I get you anything?
Frankie: [v.o.] Hang on. A 5-line volley from Brick without reading, random change of subject, or whispering? [Frankie gasps] Just what I thought.
Frankie: You're burning up.
Frankie: [v.o.] See, fever kind of mellows out Brick's quirks. The more normal he acts, the sicker he is. And that's what kicked off the Heck plague of 2011.
Frankie: Axl, keep your tongue dow- [Axl coughs in Frankie's face]
Sue: Uh-oh. I'm gonna throw up.
Frankie: No, no, no! I just vacuumed. Here, in my hands.
Frankie: [v.o.] But this year was different than the plague of 2010. 'cause no matter how much snot I had to wipe, or barf I had to catch, there was a bright, shining light at the end of this mucousy tunnel... The Royal Wedding.

Frankie: [v.o.] And that's how a little mnemonic device like "news" ballooned into...
Sue: "NEWSBENJIVERTS." My brother came up with "NEWS," but I came up with "BENJIVERTS."
Samantha: Now our third and final candidate, Sue Hickey.
Frankie: [v.o.] That's when Sue introduced the world to "NEWSBENJIVERTS." B for "blink less"...
Sue: Happy Thursday, fellow shuckers.
Frankie: [v.o.] E for "enunciate"...
Sue: The flooded auditorium-uh will be drain-uh-d in time for the spring muh-usical.
Frankie: [v.o.] N for "nodding"...
Sue: And kudos to the girls soccer team for defeating the other team from...
Frankie: [v.o.] And who could forget V for "very big gestures"?
Sue: I'm Sue Heck, and that's what the Heck's go... [knocks over glass of water and microphone] On.
Samantha: Cut to black! Cut to black!

Frankie: Oh, you think this is funny? Is this all some sort of joke?
Mike: Come on, Frankie. Lighten up.
Frankie: No! You lighten up! All you've done this past week is smirk and laugh and make fun of me, and what have I done for you? Wipe your snot, carry your vomit, take you sneaker shopping because your old ones weren't awesome enough! How dare Mom ever want anything for herself? To celebrate that a girl could start the day as a commoner and end it as a princess. "Oh, ha ha. It's stupid. It doesn't matter." Well, it matters to me! Yeah. And I don't have to explain it or justify it to any of you. That's right. There's no historical significance. I just think it's pretty!
Mike: Jeez, Frankie, calm down. You're getting all bloodshot.
Frankie: Oh, no. You just don't get the needs of the common people, do you, Mike? Pretzels aren't important. Royal weddings aren't important. Oh, not like football! Do I talk smack about all this Colts stuff that you get? No. But I buy one little plate, and suddenly, I'm crazy! I'm obsessed- [Frankie smashes her commemerative plate with the remote] God. [sobs]
Axl: Who knew she cared so much about the royal wedding? She should have said something.