Mike: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey! All right! That's it! That's it! We're shutting it down! Party's over! Here we go. You guys shouldn't be celebrating Valentine's Day anyway, because it's a scam cooked up by the greeting card companies. You know what you should be doing? You should be studying. 'Cause guess what they're doing in China right now? They are doing math and they're learning how to be C.E.O.S of greeting card companies so they can sell us Americans a heart-shaped load of crap!
[cut to Mike returning home:]
Mike: Banned.

Frankie: [v.o.] Certain things you can count on for Valentine's Day: flowers, candy, Mike ranting about flowers and candy...
Mike: I'm just saying it's not a real holiday. It's a scam cooked up by the greeting card companies, and everybody buys into it. Some college kid in an office building somewhere is gonna write a card telling me how I feel? I don't think so.
Frankie: You don't have to get me a card.
Mike: I'll get you your card. And what about the flowers? I got to bring flowers just 'cause it's February 14th? What if I want to bring you flowers on some other day of the year?
Frankie: You don't need to bring me flowers.
Mike: Yeah, I'm gonna be the one idiot in America who doesn't bring his wife flowers on Valentine's Day. Don't worry. You'll get your flowers.
Frankie: And while you're there, we need vacuum bags and a new plunger.

Mike: Hey, buddy. Can we talk to you for a sec?
Frankie: Listen, Brick, we know you didn't want Autumn to find out that you liked her yet, but this could be a good thing.
Brick: I had this whole plan. First she learns she has a secret admirer. Then I share with her the book that changed my life, Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Then, sometime in late May, I sit down with her in front of the computer and show her my favorite logos. This, of course, leads to a discussion of fonts, and then she's mine.
Mike: This is the plan I foiled?