Axl Quote #145
Quote from Axl in A Simple Christmas
Axl: Glossners are hiding in the bushes. I saw them when Grandma took fudge over to the Donahues. I used her as a human shield.
Brick: I'm cold. I told you we needed a fireplace.
Axl: You can't put a fireplace in an igloo!
Brick: The eskimos do it all the time.
Axl: Oh, my God, Brick. Eskimos aren't even real. They're just in stories like leprechauns and trolls.
The Middle Quotes
‘A Simple Christmas’ Quotes
Quote from Axl
Axl: Is that true? Are you weenying out on getting us presents?
Mike: Calm down. Nobody's weenying out of anything. There'll be presents, just maybe not so many.
Sue: All 'cause of an orange?
Brick: What's the orange?
Axl: You remember. From our stockings. That stupid orange from when Mom used to live on the prairie and all she got for Christmas was an orange.
Frankie: Uh, it wasn't frontier days, it's your great-grandmother during the Depression. How old do you think I am?
Axl: God, I don't know. I try not to think about you.
Quote from Frankie
Mike: We're doing a little thinking about Christmas. It seems that we don't always appreciate it the way we should.
Sue: Oh, no, we appreciate it. Mm, we totally appreciate it.
Frankie: Do you? Exhibit A. Does anybody recognize that?
Mike: We'll give you a hint. One of you had to have it just last year.
Axl: Well, it's lame, so I'll go with Sue.
Mike: Ooh! Sorry. We were looking for "Axl." The correct answer is "Axl."
Sue: And it's not even opened. Wow. That is unappreciative.
Frankie: Huh. That's funny you should say that, Sue. Or should I say... Exhibit B.
Sue: Oh! Thank you! I've been looking for this.
Frankie: Been in the middle of the pool table all year, right next to... Exhibit C!
Axl: A word-a-day calendar? Well, you know that's not mine.
Frankie: Brick stopped using it on January 2nd. And coincidentally, the word is "irresponsible."
Quote from Pat
Pat: Frankie, why don't you let 'em open their presents?
Frankie: Because I told you we were doing a simple Christmas!
Pat: [scoffs] Well, I didn't think you meant us, too.
Frankie: Oh, you knew I meant you, too, and you ignored me! You've been winking and waving at me all over the place since you got here!
Pat: Well, I am sorry, Frankie, but there is no way I was participating in that insanity. A simple Christmas is just really a lame idea. [Frankie gasps]
Tag: I told you not to tell her that.
Pat: Well, you don't cut back at Christmas. It's Christmas!
Frankie: Who are you people? When I was a kid, for my allowance, I got one cent for every year of my life. That means when I was 12, I got 12 pennies, Mom. 12 pennies!
Pat: Well, back then, we were parents. Now we're grandparents. We have to be grand. It's in the title!
Tag: There ain't no pockets in heaven.