Frankie: "Uh-oh"? That's all you can say? Why were you even using the oven?
Brick: Well, you didn't tell me not to. You said no pay-per-view, no baths, no-
Frankie: I didn't think I had to! Nobody in this house ever uses the oven! That's why I use it to store Aunt Pearl's quilt!
Brick: I just wanted to make pizza rolls.
Frankie: Microwave is for pizza rolls! The oven is for bulky storage. See, this is what happens when I go against my instincts. You are never staying home alone again! End of story!
Brick: Hello? I still need my lunch.

[Frankie slowly closes the door while keeping an eye on brick. She walks over to the window and looks in.]
Frankie: [v.o.] What was I worried about? All he does is sit on the couch and read anyway. Everything was gonna be fine. [Frankie walks away] And it would've been fine... If he hadn't finished his book.
[Brick goes over and turns the garbage disposal on]
[Brick goes to the bathroom, drinks some mouthwash and spits it back into the bottle]
[Brick plays with Axl's electric guitar]
[Brick walks around like a robot after putting a metal strainer on his head and wrapping foil around himself]
Frankie: [v.o.] And there he was, right where I left him. What was I worried about? [sniffs] Ah! Brick, what happened?! [fire alarm beeps] Brick, what- Oh! Brick!
Brick: Uh-oh.

Sue: Hey, Dad. Why do you still have the sleeping bag?
Mike: They didn't want it. They don't realize how terrific this sleeping bag is. If they can't appreciate this sleeping bag... To hell with 'em.
Sue: It's really not that great. I think Mom found it at the church. [Sue signals for Mike to sit down next to her] Wow, what an awesome week. First, a Wrestlerette almost borrows my sleeping bag. And now I get to watch most a movie with just my Dad.
Frankie: [v.o.] Mike knew the truth would come out. Somebody would text somebody, who'd put it on their Facebook page that there was a party, and she wasn't there, and he was. Yep, there was gonna be a whole lot of junior high pain coming Sue's way tomorrow. So Mike decided they should just enjoy tonight.
Mike: So explain to me again why her only choices for a date are a vampire and a wolf man.
Sue: It's not a date, Dad. They're battling for Bella's soul. And see that one there, Edward... He's in love with Bella, but then Taylor Lautner came along.
Mike: He's the one with the abs?
Sue: Exactly. And so now she's sort of conflicted, because she had to choose between Taylor Lautner and his gorgeous abs and Robert Pattinson and that hair.