Mike: Why don't you just pay 'em, Frankie?!
Frankie: I got money! Who likes money? Well, congratulations, Takayuki! You wanted to see America? You're seeing it. This is an American family. Yeah, we yell and fight, we eat bad food, we watch too much TV, and we bribe our kids.
Brick: Not all of them.
Frankie: Give it a rest, Brick. [sighs] Maybe you're horrified by all of this. Or maybe you're not. I don't know. Who can tell? I'm just... I'm done. So just go on. Go back to Japan and file your report and tell 'em all what crappy ambassadors we are.

Frankie: I don't know what you watch at your house, but we have all kinds of great shows here... The Bachelor, Bachelorette, Say Yes to the Dress, Ace of Cakes.

Frankie: You guys were right. Takayuki's a dud. We got ripped off.
Axl: Duh.
Brick: Told you.
Sue: That's what we've been telling you.
Mike: He's no hummus. What are you drinking?
Frankie: Nancy's Esteban made it. He's been cooking, dancing, teaching them games. They're getting this amazing global experience, and we're hiding from ours in the bedroom.
Brick: Dog's looking better and better, isn't it?
Frankie: I wanted a cultural exchange, and instead I get another sullen teen. I mean, what's with his parents, sending him over here? I would never saddle some poor Japanese family with Axl.
Axl: Hey, I would totally rage in Japan.