Mike: Don't move. Where's my daughter? Sue Heck. Sue Heck. I know you're in here. [all murmuring] I told you I didn't want you to come here tonight. We are leaving immediately. And if I ever catch you sneaking out of the house again...
Sue: Huh?
Mike: Ah! And it's not gonna help for you to beg me to let you stay just one more hour. [winks at Sue]
Sue: Oh, my God, you're the worst dad ever. Can you believe this? Just as the party was getting good. Man, this stinks.
Carly: Mr. Heck? My dad didn't want me to come here either, did he?
Mike: No, he did not. You're coming with us. Get in the car.
Carly: Thank you so much, Mr. Heck.
Mike: Be cool, you're blowing our cover.

Mike: Two for dinner.
Clerk: Okay, and you're fine with a 45-minute wait?
[cut to Frankie and Mike in the car:]
Frankie: You could have at least have put our name in.
Mike: I don't wait more than ten minutes.
Frankie: I know. I know everything about you. No surprises here.

Frankie: New idea. Let's each name our five favorite moments of our marriage. But you can't use our wedding day or the birth of our kids.
Mike: I wasn't going to. [chuckles]