Mike: What's your problem?
Axl: You're still treating me like a kid! I don't need you to tell me how to do things anymore. You're telling me all the time. You're making me nuts. And I know I'm the younger lion and I'm challenging you and we're supposed to "lock horns"...
Mike: Lions don't have horns.
Axl: You don't need to tell me that lions don't have horns!
Mike: Well, you just said...
Axl: I know lions don't have horns. I just want to drive my own car.
Mike: Look, I'm older than you. I know you think you know best, but there's still a lot more you have to learn, and it's my job to teach you. It's been my job your whole life!
Axl: Okay, so, is that how it's gonna be, like, forever? 'Cause you'll always be older than me, and Grandpa Big Mike will always be older than you, and there's a guy in Jasper who's like 103. He'll always be older than all of us. Maybe he should drive us home.

Axl: Look, Dad told me to write down chips, and I didn't, and if he finds out I forgot them, he'll never let me hear the end of it, and I really need to hear the end of it because he's been on me like crazy lately, and don't tell me you love Dad's advice!
Brick: Well, he doesn't talk to me.
Axl: Well, then, you're lucky, because he's all up in my business all the time.
Brick: Ah, I see what's going on here. It's nature. The younger male challenging the older male, the older male swiping back. It's two rams locking horns on a mountain, two lions in a pride fighting for dominance. Usually, the younger lion will kill the older lion, and then that lion would have the female lions in the house to mate with.
Axl: Ew! Nature is messed up.

Mike: Listen... You make sure, when you go in there, you know what you're looking for. You need snow tires 'cause you drive in winter.
Axl: Yes, I know I drive in the winter.
Mike: Okay.
Frankie: [v.o.] Unfortunately, whenever you have two grown men in the house, one has to assert his dominance over the other, and, in our case, it was always gonna be Mike.
[flashback to Axl in the kitchen cooking eggs:]
Mike: [sighs] You're gonna want to kill the heat on that or your eggs will be chewy.
[flashback to Mike reading the paper on the couch as Axl laughs at the TV:]
Mike: [grabs remote] Keep it at 26 for sports, 14 for regular TV.
[flashback to Mike walking on Axl about to brush his teeth:]
Mike: You don't squeeze. You roll. We're not made of toothpaste.
[present:]
Mike: Now, listen to me, you don't want to set foot in a car dealership until you've done your research and you know your price. We should talk about this.
Axl: Uh, of course we should.