Brick: I panicked, and for good reason. There's no way we're getting out of this. In books, they always catch the culprit.
Axl: [sighs] What books?
Brick: How about any Sherlock Holmes novel? Have you read The Hound of the Baskervilles?
Axl: No.
Brick: A Study in Scarlet?
Axl: No.
Brick: The Valley of Fear?
Axl: No! But I have seen Captain America.
Brick: What happens in that?
Axl: I don't know. I kind of lost the plot.
Brick: Seriously, Axl, what are going to do?
Axl: [groans] Just give me a second. I need to think. [exhales deeply] What did happen in Captain America?

Sue: You told Axl what to major in.
Mike: Axl needed to be told to close his mouth when he takes a shower.
Sue: But you gave up everything for me. I don't want to disappoint you or make another mistake. Tell me what you want me to do. You have to. Please?
Mike: Look, you were never supposed to know what happened with the business. That was my choice. And maybe I didn't do you any favors trying to protect you, but I just didn't think you should have to worry about that. You're asking me what I want for you. I don't know. I-I'll tell you what I don't want for you. I don't want you to be on a first-name basis with the operator from the gas company, even though Joyce is very nice and lets us spread the bill over three credit cards. I don't want you to have to share a battery between both your cars. I don't want you to have to hope for a tornado to bring your next appliance. I'm not trying to scare you, kid, but... it's hard sometimes living like we do. And, uh... what I hope for you is just that it can be different.

Frankie: Oh, God.
Brick: Yes, it's my birthday. But don't worry. I've taken care of everything. I got my cupcake, I sang to myself, and I opened the card from Grandma with the $2 bill in it. I'm good.
Frankie: Okay, look, first of all, we did not forget your birthday. We were just...
Mike: Don't even try.
Brick: Look, I don't care about any of the birthday accoutrements. I just got it out of the way, so we could concentrate on this. [holds up car keys]
Mike: I thought you had to be 15 to get a learner's permit.
Brick: I am 15, and you signed the permit last week.
Frankie: That's what that was? [sighs] I thought you were gonna learn how pizza gets made.
Brick: Look, I've read all the manuals. I've got a phone book on the front seat, which, coincidentally, I've also read. I'm ready to go. Now, I know you both want to share this iconic moment with your son, so I'm gonna leave you two to fight it out, and I'll meet the winner in the car. [throws the car keys at Frankie and Mike, neither of whom catch them]