Brick Quote #822
Mike: Okay, whatever. I'm just saying don't put so much pressure on it. Relax. You know a joke? Tell a joke.
Brick: I don't know any jokes.
Mike: Oh. Well, um... Okay, here's one I like. "Your mom is so ugly, when she goes to the zoo, she needs two tickets... one to get in and one to get out."
Brick: I don't understand.
Mike: Well, they're saying that she's so ugly they think she's an animal. So she needs... [chuckles] a ticket to get out of the zoo.
Brick: So, you're saying if an animal had a ticket, the zoo would just let it out? That's not safe. And how would he even carry a ticket with its hooves?
Mike: No, it... [sighs] You're missing the point.
Brick: Is the animal being let out of the zoo the joke part?
Mike: No! The woman is so ugly they think she's an animal. That's the joke.
Brick: Is it?
Mike: Yes!
Brick: So I'm insulting someone's mother, animals are on the loose causing chaos in society, and the zoo is somehow charging people to leave. I'm sorry, there's just so much wrong with this, Dad. Thank you, but when it comes to talking to teenage football players, I'll take my chances with Charlie Rose.
The Middle Quotes
‘True Grit’ Quotes
Quote from Brick
Brick: I hope you told your mom not to wait for you for dinner. Font Club may run a little late tonight. We're having a raising Helvetica party.
Troy: I thought we were gonna discuss Garamond.
Brick: I'm saving that for Monday. Gara-Monday?
Troy: Ah, cool.
Quote from Brick
Brick: Anyway, at first, I was looking forward to going, but now I'm worried. What am I gonna say to a bunch of jocks? Can you give me some football terms to use so I don't embarrass myself trying to fit into the conversational bouquet?
Mike: Uh, first of all, I'd steer clear of "bouquet." Second, just talk about anything. Just be yourself.
Brick: Should I talk about Charlie Rose?
Mike: No. Why would you do that?
Brick: Well, I like his interviewing style. The way he takes one topic and really delves into it.
Mike: Um, just talk, like, uh, "Hey, what class are you in? Where'd you get those sneakers?"
Brick: You're giving me tall-guy advice. That all works coming from you. If I did it, I'm just the weirdo paying too much attention to people's shoes.
Quote from Brick
Brick: [whistles]
Mike: Uh, Brick, what's with the getup?
Brick: Oh, this? I've noticed high-school kids seem to be very into school pride. As you know, I live life on the periphery, on the fringes of fun. But I've decided, if I want to graduate having lived the high school experience, it will require total immersion.
Frankie: But you don't even like sports.
Brick: Correction... used to not like sports. Now all I care about is we beat the Bentonville Bears Friday night. The Bears are going down! I hate them based on their geographical location.
Mike: Good man.
Brick: In addition to sports cheering, I will also decorate my locker and perhaps participate in a school prank. One thing's for sure... count on a lot of selfies. You can follow my antics on social media. I've got this year down... like the Bears, who are going down. [chuckles]