Mike Quote #903

Quote from Mike in Find My Hecks

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, I was cool, but Mike... not so much.
Mike: [on the phone] Hey, Axl, I need you to pick me up a taco from the taco place. What do you mean you're not anywhere near there? Are you sure? You sure you're not .2 miles from there? No? All right. [hangs up] Look at this. He is right next to Taco Jason's, but he can't get the old man a taco? I drove up to his school last week to bring him a chair, but he can't pick me up a damn taco? [clicks tongue] Not cool. He's gonna be hearing about this.
Frankie: No, he's not going to be hearing anything, because you don't know about the dot, remember? Now, I've got a bean-and-cheese burrito in the freezer I've been hiding under the bag of peas. It's yours if you don't blow this.

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 ‘Find My Hecks’ Quotes

Quote from Mike

Mike: Hey. How was the movie?
Sue: How'd you know I went to a movie?
Mike: I don't know. You must've told me.
Sue: No. Brad and I went to lunch, and then we decided to see a movie last-minute.
Mike: Well, y-you're at Sbarro's. The theater's right by there.
Sue: How did you know I was at Sbarro?
Mike: You said you were at the theater. I figured you'd obviously go to Sbarro's. It's the only good Italian in town. It only makes sense. You know what? We're glad you had a good time. Bye. [closes the door on Sue]
Frankie: Okay, that's it. You're off the project. You're a security risk. I'm not gonna let you jeopardize this whole operation with your loose lips.
Mike: Okay, you know what? Fine. I'm out. I knew this was wrong in the first place. Dads aren't supposed to know what's going on. We like being in the dark. Let me know when the kids are getting married.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: I found an app where you can track someone through their phone if they have the same friends-and-family plan. So now I know their whereabouts at all times.
Mike: You're spying on the kids?
Frankie: Well, you call it spying, I call it peace of mind. Now I don't have to worry 'cause I can see where they are. It's just... There's no arguing. It's a lot easier. It's kind of like when I used to sneak into Axl's room and cut his hair a little each night.
Mike: That did save a lot of screaming.

Quote from Sue

Sue: What's the matter, Brick?
Brick: Have you ever just wanted something so bad and you didn't get it?
Sue: Uh, yeah. I hate to brag, but I'm kind of an expert.
Brick: Well, Cindy and I are tied for valedictorian, and it's all gonna come down to who does better on our geometry final. [sighs] I mean, I've dreamed of being valedictorian since I was a kid. You know, finally being cool. But now I guess I'm gonna have to give it up for my girlfriend.
Sue: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Are you saying you have to let Cindy win because she's a girl? Is it harder for women? Sure. But we can succeed on our own merits, thank you very much. And we will never earn true equality if men keep propagating this "chauvinism in the guise of chivalry"... [Mike walks in]... way of thinking. Do you want me to get my Gloria Steinem book? [Mike turns around and leaves] It's just right over there in the pile.
Brick: No, no. You've convinced me. I get what you're saying. I just need to man up and kick butt on this test.
Sue: No, no, no, no, no. You are going to woman up, because I am going to help you. Flash cards, quizzes, whatever it takes. I am not going to leave your side for the next two days.
Axl: Hm! Hey, Sue! There's another party tonight.
Sue: I would stay, but Axl is being so nice to me right now, I feel like I've got to go.