Sue Quote #735
Quote from Sue in The Convention
Frankie: [v.o.] Well, Axl and Sue might've shared a house for 18 years, but for the first time in their lives, they were sharing a room.
Axl: You know, I've been watching you, and you brush your hair a lot.
Sue: Shut your mouth! Shut your stupid mouth! I did not want you here. I did not ask for you to be here. You are here because I am nice and I am weak and I am still a little scared of Dad! And just so you know, there is fudge somewhere in this room that Grandma sent to me with love, and don't even bother trying to find it because it is hidden and it is mine!
Axl: Correction... was fudge.
Sue: That's it! You took something I love. Now I am going to take something you love. I do not like this palm tree. It does not go with my room. [tree deflates] I am not doing a beach theme. I am doing classic rustic cottage, which anyone with half a brain could see! Die! Die!
The Middle Quotes
‘The Convention’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Goodwin
Frankie: Hey, Dr. Goodwin. Um, you said all expenses were being taken care of, right?
Dr. Goodwin: Yepperoonie.
Frankie: Oh, thank god. 'Cause we just got a bill by mistake for our room service and minibar charges.
Dr. Goodwin: Oh, no, now, they never pay for that. That's why I always bring my snack sack with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Frankie: But you said all expenses paid. That's what you said.
Dr. Goodwin: No, I distinctly remember saying y'all's expenses are paid. Not all y'all's.
Frankie: No, no, no, no, that can't be. I mean, how is anybody supposed to know that "all y'all's" is plural for "y'all's"?
Dr. Goodwin: Well, all y'all's would obviously be more than y'all's. I mean...
Mike: What is he saying? Do you speak hillbilly?
Frankie: Not well, but I think this hillbilly is telling us that we owe $674.
Dr. Goodwin: Ooh, y'all ordered a lot.
Quote from Mike
Mike: Oh, man. I ordered ribs, and I didn't like them, so I ordered a steak. I was living like Caesar up here. And, Frankie, seriously? Dry cleaning?
Frankie: They folded my underwear. It made me feel special. But what about you? Shoeshine? What are you, running for congress?
Mike: I thought all expenses were paid. It seemed nuts not to do it.
Frankie: Let's just run, Mike. Let's just grab the soap and Kleenex and run.
Mike: We can't. We gave them a credit card... the good one.
Dr. Goodwin: Ooh, boy, I got to say, y'all are in quite a pickle.
Mike: [Southern accent] Are we? Are we in a pickle? Have we done and done it? Are we long-tail cats in a room full of rockers?
Frankie: Mike, calm down. That is not helping anything. Now, look, I will think of something, but in the meantime, take the robe off, Hef. That costs 60 bucks. Take the other one out of my suitcase.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Okay, we'll start with the basic categories of lies. Number one... personal tragedy. You're dying, a friend's dying, Grandma's dying. You get the picture. It's old school, but it totally works. It does, however, require a certain shady moral compass.
Sue: I could never do that to Grandma. She just sent fudge.
Axl: Well, there's the "appeal to their humanity" lie. You call up the professor and say, "I could tell you a lie, but I respect you too much."
Sue: Wait, so am I lying or not lying?
Axl: That might be a little advanced for you. There is a new category that's very promising. The "I identify with the opposite gender and have issues" lie. The only downside is you have to live the next four years as a man. It's a big commitment.