Reverend TimTom Quote #32
Quote from Reverend TimTom in Land of the Lost
[Reverend TimTom is playing a ukulele as Mike tries to read the newspaper]
Reverend TimTom: I hope you don't mind. I haven't picked one of these up since the Lord's luau for leprosy.
I saw it lying there and thought I'd play a little. [plays and sings] Oh, Jesus never got to have no midlife crisis No sports car, hair plugs, young blonde wiveses Never traded his robes for tight jeans one day He never quit his job to go write a screenplay Oh, Jesus never got to have no midlife crisis No tattoos, veneers, Botox around the eyeses He never showed up with his hair and beard dyed Never got the chance 'cause at only 33 He was crucified Oh, Jesus never... [Mike reaches out and stops Reverend TimTom]
Mike: Look, I-I-I appreciate the effort, and I get you had to drive over here and everything, but this is not... It's just not. Good luck with the rummage sale. [walks off]
Frankie: [sighs] Look, you were great. Just a little off tonight. I mean, Mike's tough. It was a hard one.
Reverend TimTom: I just think if I had my guitar, I could have done it. The gravity of the message... It doesn't [strums note] come across on the ukulele. Can I come back tomorrow and take another crack?
Frankie: Nope, nope, nope, nope. It's done. We had a window, and we just didn't hit it. But, uh, don't worry. I'll use you again. Have a good night.
The Middle Quotes
‘Land of the Lost’ Quotes
Quote from Mike
Mike: You're turning 50.
Frankie: Wait, what?
Mike: Yeah, I know. It's just... I don't know. It's just bugging me.
Frankie: You're bugged that I'm turning 50?
Mike: Your birthday's coming up, and suddenly, it just hit me... I'm gonna be married to a 50-year-old woman.
Frankie: Oh, my God. Seriously? You turned 50 over a year ago.
Mike: Yeah, it didn't bug me the same way.
Frankie: Really, Mike? Really? You're stealing my midlife crisis. So, what, you want to have an affair? Hmm? You want a new wife now? Is that it?
Mike: No. You're... fine. But this isn't about you. This is about us getting old. Hell, I read that Fonzie is turning 70. What kind of world do we live in where the Fonz is 70?
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Look, I should have told you this before, but you can't go right at him. He's like an animal you're trying to catch. If he senses you coming, he's gone. You got to go around and sneak up on the problem.
Reverend TimTom: But you understand, as a man of the cloth, if he asks me why I'm really here, I've got to tell him the truth.
Frankie: What? Why?
Reverend TimTom: Well, lying is a sin.
Frankie: Is it though? I don't really think all sins are the same. I mean, lying certainly isn't as big of a sin as, say... I don't know... murder.
Reverend TimTom: Well, I-I guess you're right.
Frankie: I know I'm right. Now, go out there and knock my socks off. And remember, go around.
Quote from Brick
Sue: Brick! Where were you?
Brick: Well, you said go to the library, but on the campus map you gave me, there were 12 libraries, so I just went and stood in front of each one for a little while. Also, I got a burrito.
Sue: Wait, why were you outside?
Brick: Well, they wouldn't let me in without a student I.D. I didn't even get a chance to read a single book. Why didn't you call me?
Sue: You left your phone at home.
Brick: Oh! Right. I took it out 'cause I needed room for my statue of a cowboy made out of bent forks.