Mike: We don't have to stick to just sports. It works with any rivals. You could do dogs and cats, Republicans and Democrats.
Rusty: Pope and Anti-Pope.
Mike: I'm not sure the Pope has a natural enemy.
Rusty: How about a bobcat?
Mike: Hmm. I don't think so.
Rusty: If you have a bobcat, you know he's going after a pope if he has the chance. And vicey-versey. [Mike gives Rusty an exasperated shrug] Should we press pause on the diapers and really focus on this Pope v. Bobcat stuff?
Mike: Let's get this going and then maybe look at that farther down the line.
Rusty: Yeah. The thing is, this Pope/bobcat thing is itching at my brain. And in my experience, that means bub's a winner.
Mike: I'm not angry, but I-I need you to not say "bobcat" again.

Brick: I don't get why you're going to all this trouble for a motorcycle.
Axl: This is not just about the motorcycle. This is about us having the right to do all the things Mom and Dad don't let us do. I am paving the way for future freedoms. I did not sit through the first five minutes of Selma when I meant to see Horrible Bosses 2 for nothing. Would Oprah have signed on to play Selma if it wasn't a character she thought spoke for something she believed in? If I can't take a shot to the junk for something I believe in, why am I even here?

Frankie: [v.o.] Even unannounced, it's always nice to have family home. Well, sometimes.
Mike: So, Rusty, what brings you by?
Rusty: Well, I suppose you're wondering what brings me by.
Mike: Yes, that's...
Rusty: I've got a business opportunity, and I want to get my big brother in on the ground floor.
Mike: Well, I appreciate you thinking about me, Rusty, but, uh, I didn't really get your last idea.
Rusty: Oh, pancake cup? It was a coffee mug made out of pancakes. When you finish drinking it, you just ate the cup. But Mike pointed out that pancakes don't hold liquid on account of they're made mostly out of pancakes.
Mike: Fatal flaw.