Axl Quote #736
Devin: So, are we going right to the restaurant, or are we stopping at your house first?!
Axl: [turns music down] What?
Devin: I was just wondering... are we going straight to the King's Feast, or are we stopping at your house first?
Axl: Uh, no, we will not be stopping at my house first. Nice try.
Devin: Well, out of respect for the King, I better get out of my hoop clothes. Okay. [starts undressing] Can't forget my seat belt. Safety first. Could've sworn I had a bag of Funyuns in here. I always travel with Funyuns.
They're like fun onions. They're Funyuns! Ooh! Bingo!
Axl: You do realize we're eating dinner in like less than an hour, right?
Devin: Okay, Dad. You know, I got to say, it was really cool of your mom to invite me to Thanksgiving. I mean, I would've been totally fine just hanging out in my dorm.
Axl: We could still make that happen.
Devin: Yeah, you know, I can pretty much cook anything on a hot plate. The other night, I made brownies and lasagna.
Axl: You can't make brownies on a hot plate.
Devin: Sure you can. You can make anything on a hot plate. All you need is heat and the will to do it.
Quote from Axl
Sue: Axl! Did you hear this? Mom and Dad say we're having Thanksgiving at a restaurant.
Axl: Oh. So Mom's not cooking? At last... something to be truly thankful for.
Quote from Frankie
Sue: Mom, I have to talk to you. Darrin did something bad.
Frankie: Don't worry. Dad will get over the turkey thing.
Sue: He told the waiters to sing "Happy Birthday" to Dad.
Frankie: What? Has he lost his mind?!
Sue: I don't know.
Frankie: Listen to me right now. You need to tell me who you talked to and exactly what you said.
Darrin: Uh, I don't know. He was a waiter.
Frankie: What did he look like?
Darrin: He had an apron and a pen.
Frankie: They all have aprons and pens! I need details. Mole on his face, crooked nose... anything.
Darrin: I don't remember.
Frankie: Well, you've got to remember!
Darrin: It's kind of hard to think when you're yelling at me!
Frankie: All right, just... just go and find him... now!
Quote from Sue
Sue: Wait a minute. What's going on? Are we not having Thanksgiving at home this year?
Frankie: Sue, take a look around this place.
Sue: But we have to stay home. Thanksgiving's not Thanksgiving without Frugal Hoosier canned corn, Safeway boxed stuffing, and CVS pumpkin pie.
Quote from Bat Out of Heck
Mike: What's your problem?
Axl: You're still treating me like a kid! I don't need you to tell me how to do things anymore. You're telling me all the time. You're making me nuts. And I know I'm the younger lion and I'm challenging you and we're supposed to "lock horns"...
Mike: Lions don't have horns.
Axl: You don't need to tell me that lions don't have horns!
Mike: Well, you just said...
Axl: I know lions don't have horns. I just want to drive my own car.
Mike: Look, I'm older than you. I know you think you know best, but there's still a lot more you have to learn, and it's my job to teach you. It's been my job your whole life!
Axl: Okay, so, is that how it's gonna be, like, forever? 'Cause you'll always be older than me, and Grandpa Big Mike will always be older than you, and there's a guy in Jasper who's like 103. He'll always be older than all of us. Maybe he should drive us home.
Quote from Fight or Flight
Mike: What are you doing?
Axl: I'm packing my nunchucks for the trip.
Mike: Aw, that's great. The boy genius is packing his nunchucks. No one is letting you on a plane with nunchucks.
Axl: I believe you're thinking of toothpaste.
Mike: I'm not thinking of toothpaste!
Axl: All the stuff you know about air travel is what you've seen on the TV, but I'm doing the real thing.
Quote from Birds of a Feather
Axl: Oh! This is all your fault!
Frankie: What are you talking about?
Axl: I'll show you what I'm talking about. Axl Heck, star student of the week. Boom. Exhibit A. "I will be a rock star during the week and an astronaut on the weekends." Now that I'm older, I realize I should have reversed that, but you helped me with this. All through elementary school and middle school was, "You can be anything you want to be, Axl. Don't be afraid to dream big, Axl." Then I hit high school and you pull the rug out from under me! I wanted to start a T-shirt line. I wanted to be a reality star. And now, thanks to you, I'm stuck in a dead-end job for the rest of my life.
Frankie: [sighs] Axl, you're just an intern. This is not what you're gonna be doing forever.
Axl: Um, it's a little late to apply to astronaut school, so I think it is. Look at this. "Who are your heroes? Mommy, Daddy, and Spongebob." Guess it's just Spongebob now.