Frankie Quote #1316
Frankie: Oh, and listen, Axl... I invited Devin Levin to come down and have dinner with us, so I'm gonna need you to drive her home from school.
Axl: No! No way. I'm not driving Devin Levin here from college. I told you a million times! I'm not telling you again!
Frankie: [v.o.] I know this seems like an extreme reaction, even for Axl, but this Devin Levin battle had been raging for two years.
Frankie: Mm. Axl. My hair person's cousin's niece's daughter is from Idaho, and she just started at east Indiana, so since she really doesn't know anybody yet, I thought it'd be nice if you called her just to say hi.
Axl: Well, think again, 'cause there's no way I'm calling some uggo from Idaho.
Frankie: [on the phone] Did you ever call Devin Levin? I asked you six months ago.
Axl: [playing hackeysack] Mom, I don't have time. I'm studying.
Frankie: [on the phone] Axl, this is getting embarrassing. You have to call her before my roots grow out.
Quote from Axl
Sue: Axl! Did you hear this? Mom and Dad say we're having Thanksgiving at a restaurant.
Axl: Oh. So Mom's not cooking? At last... something to be truly thankful for.
Quote from Frankie
Sue: Mom, I have to talk to you. Darrin did something bad.
Frankie: Don't worry. Dad will get over the turkey thing.
Sue: He told the waiters to sing "Happy Birthday" to Dad.
Frankie: What? Has he lost his mind?!
Sue: I don't know.
Frankie: Listen to me right now. You need to tell me who you talked to and exactly what you said.
Darrin: Uh, I don't know. He was a waiter.
Frankie: What did he look like?
Darrin: He had an apron and a pen.
Frankie: They all have aprons and pens! I need details. Mole on his face, crooked nose... anything.
Darrin: I don't remember.
Frankie: Well, you've got to remember!
Darrin: It's kind of hard to think when you're yelling at me!
Frankie: All right, just... just go and find him... now!
Quote from Sue
Sue: Wait a minute. What's going on? Are we not having Thanksgiving at home this year?
Frankie: Sue, take a look around this place.
Sue: But we have to stay home. Thanksgiving's not Thanksgiving without Frugal Hoosier canned corn, Safeway boxed stuffing, and CVS pumpkin pie.
Quote from The Christmas Tree
Brick: Hey, Mom. Can I interest you in a decorative crock-pot cozy? Now you can leave your crock-pot out where everyone can see and save yourself unwanted embarrassment. It's for the women's club. These glasses are the prize for being their top seller.
Frankie: Let me guess. You're using the cozy money to pay off the peppermint-bark people.
Frankie: Brick, you're running a Ponzi scheme.
Brick: A Ponzi-what, now?
Frankie: You're using money you don't have to pay off the debt you had before, and now you got to go into even more debt to pay off this debt. It's an endless cycle. You're never gonna catch up.
Brick: Isn't that what you guys do with your credit cards?
Frankie: Well, yeah, but we're gonna die before they catch us.
Quote from The Shirt
Frankie: All I asked was for you to clean the bathroom! How hard is that?
Brick: Well, if you want to do it properly, you have to get to the root of the problem.
Frankie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Brick. We are not "root of the problem" people. The surface is where we live. You start chipping away and digging down to the root of everything, the whole place falls apart. The filth and grime is what's holding everything together. You want to see a video of how we fix things? We wipe, we slide, we shove, we close. If a drawer is too full to open, move on to the next one. Never open it again.