Brick: The Silligans come from a drier planet and are a rock-type people, whereas the Vernegos' habitat is a lusher, forest area...
Sue: Brick, enough! You have been droning on and on since we left. I am trying to concentrate. Aunt Edie's car is 3 feet wider than any car I've ever driven.
Brick: Sorry. Well, do you wanna listen to a book on tape?
Sue: Please. [tape rattling]
Brick: [on tape] But Soran would have to navigate the Asteroid belts of Norox without a working Pernovian laser. [whispers] Pernovian laser.
Sue: Is that you?
Brick: Uh-huh! I recorded the entire series on tape. I play them when my eyes are too tired from reading.
Brick: [on tape] As professor Faxon's prophecy foretold, Soran's quest...

Male Voice: [on film] [action music plays] Coming, Summer 2016. Based on the best-selling series that swept the nation... [music stops]
Man: [on film] Silligans.
Male Voice: [on film] David S. Rosenthal's... Planet Nowhere.
Brick: They're doing a movie about Planet Nowhere!
Male Voice: [on film] Hugh Jackman as Professor Faxon. Ray Liotta is Gackos the Batossian. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is Soran. And introducing Montana Steinberg as Princess Kalakare. [lasers blasting]
Kalakare: [on film] The Vernegos will prevail.
Brick: Princess Kalakare's 132 years old! That kid's not a day over 11! They can't do this! You can't do this!
Mike: Brick, it's not like the couch. You got to sit down.
Brick: Stop the movie! Stop the movie!

Frankie: Look, the reason I wanted to talk to you is because although presented in a way that was not entirely kind, I do think you guys brought up some interesting points the other day. I mean, I have been losing it lately. I can't remember things the way I used to. And the reason that I can't remember squat is because of you people. My brain can't think its own thoughts because it's got all your crap in there crowding out all the space.
Brick: There's an elephant in the room, and its name is menopause.
Frankie: [sighs] I have to keep track of your orthodontist appointments and you need your notes faxed and can I please buy your old-lady snacks and, "Frankie, remind me. We got to pay that whatever by Friday." I'm tired of being your junk drawer. You people have perfectly good brains capable of storing your own information, and instead, you dump it all into mine and it fills and it fills and it crowds out all my thoughts and that's how I end up losing my car.
Mike: Hey, don't lump me in with them.
Frankie: Oh, you're lumped. Look, the point is, it's not working anymore. It's not working for me, and it's not working for you. And that's why I'm establishing office hours.
Sue: What's office hours?
Brick: Huh?
Axl: What does that even mean?
Frankie: It means that from now on, every day between 5:00 and 6:00, I will be sitting at the kitchen table with my undivided attention waiting to hear whatever crap you kids need from me. So if you need something signed, a check written, a schedule changed, that would be the time to calmly make that request not screaming it at me as I'm running out of the house, or slipping a note under the bathroom door while I'm on the toilet.
Sue: So we're not allowed to talk to you at all unless it's between 5:00 and 6:00?
Frankie: Well, that would probably be more of a phase-two thing, but I like the way you're thinking.

Frankie: Okay, guys, hit the couch. I am calling a family meeting.
Axl: [on video chat] [groans] What am I even doing here? I'm barely even a part of this family.
Frankie: Um, I have an empty fridge and a clogged toilet that says otherwise. Okay, here's the thing... I've had an epiphany. [all groan]
Axl: Let me guess... you're old and your life isn't fulfilling.
Sue: You're taking back the house.
Brick: There's gonna be major changes.
Axl: You're not gonna yell anymore.
Mike: You're losing them, Frankie.

Brick: From what Myrtle says about her sister, Edna, once they start, it's a slippery slope till they go.
Mike: Hmm.
Sue: Oh, my God. That'll be so sad. Dad's gonna fall apart.
Mike: I'll be all right.
Brick: Yeah, Dad'll be fine. I know some lovely widows that would be all over that action.
Axl: He's not going for one of your bitties, Brick. He's gonna have a lot of options.
Sue: [gasps] Ooh! Maybe he'll bring in someone to take care of us, and then he'll fall in love with her like Maria in The Sound Of Music.
Brick: And, hey, maybe she'll actually be able to cook.
Axl: Our bodies would probably go into shock at first, but then it it would be great. [all laugh]
Mike: Okay, that's enough. Frankie, even if your mind is totally shot, I promise I'm not marrying anybody. I'm probably just gonna want to date around for a while.