Sue Quote #524
Frankie: [v.o.] Ah, high school, that carefree time in your life when the stress of the real world seems miles away at least, it used to be.
Sue: Ow! Oh! Hand cramp. Hand cramp!
Frankie: Sue, put that stuff away and get ready for school.
Sue: Mom, I am a junior now. It is not about high school anymore. It's about college. I have been working on this scholarship essay since 4:00 AM.
Frankie: Since when are you interested in studying American Forestry?
Sue: Hey, for 50 bucks, I will study anything they want me to. I am also applying for the local Al-Anon scholarship. I have to write an essay about my hardships and how I've overcome them. Speaking of, would you guys describe yourselves as more escapist drinkers or panic drinkers?
Mike: Escapist, definitely. Now let's go. You can do this after school.
Sue: N-- I can't. I'm picking up extra shifts at Spudsy's for my college fund. Then, I'm studying for the SATs. Then, I am doing community service at the Orson Senior Center cutting up meat for old people. I'm sorry, but I have to be assiduous right now. I've been getting the SAT word of the day on my computer. How lugubrious is that? Oh, wait, mm. I used that wrong.
Quote from Sue
Frankie: You know what's funny? You are the complete opposite of Axl. I swear, that kid never worried about college. I mean, I had to stay on him to make sure every little thing got done. But you-- I mean, you're always pushing yourself.
Sue: That's because I have to. I mean, it's just hard for me. I mean, I-I'm not super-smart like Brick. I'm not an athlete like Axl. I mean, yeah, I-I've made a couple of teams, but I don't know if you know this. Some of them I made by accident. I am just right in the middle. I'm the middle in my grades, the middle on teams, the middle child... the middle everything. If I were on the college admissions board, why would I pick me? I don't stand out in any way. I am completely average.
Frankie: Sue... listen to me. You know how much I worry about you? [holds fingers close together] This much. You know why? Because you have something I have never seen in any other person. When stuff happens to you, you bounce.
Frankie: Yeah. And that's huge. It's something I've always admired about you. Now, listen, I'm not saying everything comes easy for you. If it did, you wouldn't be my kid. But the one thing I do know is that you have so many amazing qualities that can't be measured by the SATs.
Sue: Do you know what I am, Mom? I am indefatigable.
Frankie: Yes, you are.
Quote from Axl
Sue: And who took my almonds? That is my brain food. [gasps] Axl, do not touch my brain food, or I will end you!
Hutch: Dude, what happened to your sister? She used to be so nice.
Axl: It's the whole house. Happened ever since I went to college. Clearly, I was the one keeping everyone happy.
Sue: I am serious, Axl. You stay away from my study food.
Axl: Relax. It's not like you're gonna get into college anyway. You'll probably end up getting a job at the quarry. Dad will stick you down some deep mine shaft, and you'll never come out. But don't worry. You won't be alone. You'll probably meet a mole man and have half-man-half-mole kids.
Sue: You are an odious and repugnant individual!
Quote from Sue
Sue: This is it! I got a letter from the Patriotism Scholarship people! Oh! In my hand, I hold the first piece of the puzzle that will send me on my journey to a higher education.
Frankie: Oh, boy, honey. Fingers crossed!
Sue: "Dear Sue, due to the record-high number of submissions" They had so many submissions! "...we regret to inform you that despite your wonderful essay" They loved my essay! "...we are unable to offer you a cholarship but look forward to you trying again next year". They look forward to me trying again next year!
Axl: Just give her a minute.
Sue: Wait. No! No! No! I'm so perturbed!
Quote from Film, Friends and Fruit Pies
Mike: Hang on a sec. Where's all this money coming from?
Sue: Well, I've been using my Spudsy's money, and I popped all the quarters out of my 50 states collector's book, and I've been donating plasma. I'm not exactly sure what plasma is, and I don't know if you need it, but, from the way I've been feeling, I'm guessing you do.
Quote from The College Tour
Sue: Hey, Dad... Why do you think the tour guide gave me all these brochures? There's a Cherokee weaving workshop, and here's one on the headdress exhibit at the art museum.
Mike: Hmm, that's weird. They didn't give that stuff to anybody else?
Mike: I don't know. It's not like you're Native American.
Sue: Yes, I am.
Mike: N-no, Sue. You're not.
Sue: Sure, I am. I mean, that's what I put on my forms.
Mike: What? Why did you do that?
Sue: 'Cause I'm a native of America. I'm a native American.
Mike: Sue, now they think you're Native American!
Sue: Right, a native American.
Mike: [sighs] Say, "I'm a native American."
Sue: I'm a native American. Oh! I hear it now. Well, what was I supposed to check? There was no other option that seemed right. It's not like we're "ca-kah-zee-an."
Mike: Actually, Sue, we are.
Sue: What?! Oh, my God, this is horrible! They're gonna think that I tried to pull one over on them, that I lied on my forms, and it says it's a felony to lie on those forms. Oh, my God! I committed a felony! [music box plays] [vomits]
Quote from The Ditch
Frankie: [v.o.] Sue's ditch day wasn't exactly fun yet. But she knew as soon as she intercepted the call from the attendance office, she could really start living. Provided she stayed low to the ground and out of sight.
Sue: [answers phone] Hello?
Woman: This is the Orson High attendance office. May I speak to Frankie Heck, please?
Sue: [British accent] Yes, this is she! [whispers] Why am I British?
Woman: I'm just verifying that Sue Heck is home sick today.
Sue: [British accent] Oh, yes. She is quite sick. Sick as the Dickens, I'm afraid.
Woman: Well, please make sure she brings a note with a parent signature.
Sue: [British accent] A note?
Woman: Yes. It's a requirement anytime a student has been absent.
Sue: [British accent] Very well. A note. I'll add it to my shed-ule. Cheerio!