Mike Quote #663
Bill: Hey, this might sound crazy, but I could really use an assistant coach. I know you did some coaching back in the day. Come on when Axl was little.
Mike: Yeah, back-to-back city t-ball champs. But I'm retired.
Bill: Oh, come on! It'd be fun! We could hang out, you know? Get some fresh air. We could even go out for beers after.
Mike: Well, I've done a lot less for beer.
Bill: Oh, we're also looking for some more girls to help fill out the roster, so I don't know if Sue is into joining stuff, but maybe she could play on the team.
Sue: [squeals] I would love to be on the soccer team. I don't exactly have soccer gear, but I could use my shorts from volleyball, my cleats from field-hockey tryouts, my tennis wristbands, and, if it gets cold, my Wrestlerettes sweatshirt.
Mike: Looks like you got yourself an assistant coach.
Bill: [chuckles] All right.
The Middle Quotes
‘The Smell’ Quotes
Quote from Brick
Frankie: I swear I've been through everything in here, and the stench is not coming from the fridge. Hey, Brick, did you go through your backpack? Are you sure you don't have a yogurt or something in there from last year?
Brick: Unh-unh. I lost my backpack.
Frankie: Seriously? Well, where did you last have it?
Brick: That's kind of what makes it lost, Mom.
Frankie: Well, how are you doing your homework?
Brick: Oh, this isn't homework. I'm just writing down all the colors I like. I don't know if it's 'cause I'm getting older, but I've warmed up to periwinkle considerably. [whispers] Periwinkle.
Quote from Axl
Hutch: So, you can't go to the chi-o party 'cause of this painting?
Axl: No, I can't go to the party 'cause I might have a girlfriend.
Hutch: Oh, you might have a girlfriend, so you can't go to the party 'cause you don't want to cheat on the girlfriend that you may or may not have.
Axl: Exactly.
Hutch: And the answer's in this painting?
Axl: I don't know. Maybe, but... [sighs] We made out the whole time. Then she gave me this painting, told me it explains everything, and that was it.
Hutch: Well, why don't you call Cassidy and just ask her what it means?
Axl: [chuckles] Yeah, right. You wouldn't call up Michelangelo and tell him you don't understand the "Moaning Lisa."
Hutch: Dude, it's the "Mona Lisa."
Axl: "Mona"? That's not even a word. [groans] I don't get art.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Look, Brick, the fact that you stink is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's just your hormones waking up and telling you that things are changing in there.
Brick: Yeah, lately, I noticed when I wear corduroys, I-
Frankie: No need to go into details. Now, I know you've recently expressed an interest in girls. And if you want that interest reciprocated, you're gonna have to put in a little effort.
Brick: Like you and Dad do?
Frankie: Like me and Dad used to do. I think the thing you'll want to do is have fun with it. I'm gonna leave you here to pick out whatever smell suits your fancy: deodorant, shower gel, cologne, body spray. Go nuts. Get it all. I'm buying. Oh. Check the ingredients. Nothing natural. We got to hit that with chemicals.
Brick: Would I like Summer Breeze Dou-Shay?
Frankie: Wrong side of the aisle, Brick. Stay away from the pinks and purples. You want the reds, blacks, and grays anything with a stripe.