Sue Quote #478

Quote from Sue in War of the Hecks

Axl: Ugh.
Sue: [voice breaking] Okay, I know you still hate me. [sniffles] And I know you think I'm not your sister anymore. But you didn't respond to my note, so I don't know what else to do because now you're going back up to school. And I was thinking because I destroyed something so important to you, the only way to make it up to you is if I destroy something just as important to me. So, forgive me, Woofy Dog.
[Sue sobs as she starts tearing chunks out of her stuffed toy]
Sue: Everything just got so out of hand. I am not proud of it. I have never known my life without you, and I don't even want to think about what that would be like, and these last few days when you said I wasn't your sister anymore, I honestly thought I was going to die! [groans]
Axl: Okay! Fine! Stop! God! You're my sister again.
Sue: Are you sure? Because there's some people who use the word "Sister," but it doesn't really mean anything, and they just go off to college and they never see each other again and they only call when it's time to put their parents in a home or exchange Christmas cards, and that's it. But that's not the kind of sister I want to be. I want to be the kind of sister you call all the time and we laugh about how crazy mom's being. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! And your kids look a little like me and my kids look a little like you and we all go to King's Island every year together and wear matching t-shirts.
Axl: I'll agree to everything, except the t-shirts.
Sue: No matching shirts. You got it.
Axl: [clears throat] Here, let's, uh... try to fix this thing. I think I still might have some glue left over from your toothbrush. [Sue hugs Axl]


 ‘War of the Hecks’ Quotes

Quote from Brick

Axl: Hey, buddy! How would you like to play this new game I invented? I call it "Extreme Room Makeover, Brick Edition." Ahh!
Brick: If it's anything like your other games, "Hamper Hostage", "Drier Ride", and "Toilet Explorer", I think I'll pass. Besides, I've got a new book I'm very excited about and wish not to be disturbed.
Axl: Unsinkable by Debbie Reynolds?
Brick: It's on the branch librarian's list of winter must-reads. She was dead-on about Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck, and this is supposed to be just as good.
Axl: Mm, okay. Here's the thing, Brick. [clears throat] It's not exactly a choice. Now, you can help me, or your book can be the next contestant on Toilet Explorer, and I'm guessing it's really not that unsinkable.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Sorry, Margie. Just not my cup of tea. I don't think I'm the target audience. Really looking forward to Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood, though. [whispers] Ya-Ya.

 Sue Sue Heck Quotes

Quote from The College Tour

Sue: Hey, Dad... Why do you think the tour guide gave me all these brochures? There's a Cherokee weaving workshop, and here's one on the headdress exhibit at the art museum.
Mike: Hmm, that's weird. They didn't give that stuff to anybody else?
Sue: Mnh-mnh.
Mike: I don't know. It's not like you're Native American.
Sue: Yes, I am.
Mike: N-no, Sue. You're not.
Sue: Sure, I am. I mean, that's what I put on my forms.
Mike: What? Why did you do that?
Sue: 'Cause I'm a native of America. I'm a native American.
Mike: Sue, now they think you're Native American!
Sue: Right, a native American.
Mike: [sighs] Say, "I'm a native American."
Sue: I'm a native American. Oh! I hear it now. Well, what was I supposed to check? There was no other option that seemed right. It's not like we're "ca-kah-zee-an."
Mike: Actually, Sue, we are.
Sue: What?! Oh, my God, this is horrible! They're gonna think that I tried to pull one over on them, that I lied on my forms, and it says it's a felony to lie on those forms. Oh, my God! I committed a felony! [music box plays] [vomits]

Quote from Film, Friends and Fruit Pies

Mike: Hang on a sec. Where's all this money coming from?
Sue: Well, I've been using my Spudsy's money, and I popped all the quarters out of my 50 states collector's book, and I've been donating plasma. I'm not exactly sure what plasma is, and I don't know if you need it, but, from the way I've been feeling, I'm guessing you do.