Mike: I'm sure we'll find someone who will take him.
Frankie: No, we are not getting rid of the only thing in this house that loves me.
Mike: What are you talking about?
Frankie: I'm talking about the fact that Colin Firth actually appreciates me. He listens to what I have to say. When is the last time any of you listened to me, huh? It's just "Mom, we need this," "Mom we need that." "Dad, there's no toilet paper," said no one ever. All you see when you look at me is something to make fun of. "Ha, ha, ha, Mom was born in the pioneer days," "Mom can't jump," "Oh, Mom's wearing her sweatpants backwards." Okay. I'm sorry. I thought the word "Juicy" was supposed to go on the front, okay? And I just laugh along like it's all okay, and it piles up. And it's just chip, chip, chip, and pick, pick, pick, and it takes its toll, people. It takes its toll! Do you want to know why I can't jump? I'll tell you why. 'Cause I have the weight of all your ridicule and disdain piled on my back and dragging me down! That's why I can't jump! So, when you are all laughing and snickering... you remember I am not just some mom punching bag! [sobs] I am a person with feelings, okay? [dog barks]

Axl: Okay. Here's the thing, Brick. I screwed up. I screwed up big time. And it's really, really bad. I mean, I thought I was doing okay, but three of my professors told me I had to drop their classes. And if I drop three classes, I'll only have one left and that's Music Appreciation which everyone calls "Clap for Credits," and I'm barely passing that.
Brick: That doesn't make any sense. Clapping is something you're actually good at.
Axl: I blame Mom and Dad. 'Cause I don't know if you know this, but I am completely unsupervised here. No one tells me to go to class. No one tells me to do my homework. No one warns me that wearing your shower shoes in the snow is not a good idea. Last week, I slept for two whole days. Nobody woke me up. I brush my hair with a fork! I always thought if Mom and Dad would just get off my back, I'd be fine. But I need them, Brick. I need them on my back. Don't tell them I said that.
Brick: Can I tell them we saw a girl in her bra?
Axl: Tell them nothing! I'm scared, Brick. I'm really, really scared. All my teachers told me it was impossible for me to pass at this point, but... if you help me study this weekend, I know I can bring my grades up. And I get this is all probably weird. 'Cause usually I'm a billion times more awesome than you, but right now... I really, really, really need your help.
Brick: [sighs] Okay. I'm gonna need a highlighter pen, Goldfish Crackers, and a 44-ounce Slushie - blue. Oh, and clear your schedule. It's gonna be a long night.

Mike: Don't be so sensitive, Frankie. They were teasing you. They tease me, too. Remember the time I missed a belt loop?
Frankie: Really, Mike? That's it? That's the best you got? You may not realize it, but I get teased around here all the time way more than you.
[flashback:]
Sue: Mom, that's hilarious! You don't have to type "www" before you put in a website anymore. Guys! Hey, guys, guess what mom just did! Yeah, no... She's so old!
[flashback:]
Frankie: [sneezes] Oh, you know, I think I'm "allerngic" to this blanket.
Brick: Did you hear that, Dad? Mom's "allerngic"!
Frankie: Okay, ha, ha. I mispronounced one little word. Give me a break.
Mike: Hey, why are you raising the "vulume"?
Sue: Oh, come on, mom. Don't walk away "mud."
Brick: You're favorite "proogrom's" on!
Mike: Aw, come back! "Frunkie"!