Sue: You know, I went on kickinitteenstyle.com and took the "Rate Your Assignment Partner" quiz, and you are a "severe collaboration limitation."
Axl: With no due respect, I disagree.
Sue: I thought you might say something like that, so I also ranked you on the sibling scale, and guess what? You're a "bummer brother." So... yeah.
Axl: Whatever. This whole thing is lame. Except kitchen floor hoops, which I just invented, and is totally awesome.
Sue: I know you fancy yourself some kind of rebel, Axl, but sometimes in life, you just have to follow the rules. I put on sunscreen an hour before going outside. I wait till the bus comes to a complete stop before standing. You don't think I would love to fill up on bread? I would. But that's not how the world works. The rule of this project is that you and I take the allotted two weeks and do it together. And that's just what we're gonna do, mister. 'Cause a "D" might fly in Ax Land, but it doesn't work in Sue City. And not the one in Iowa. The one right here.

Frankie: Sue, are you okay?
Sue: No, not at all. All of a sudden, Matt's turned into the world's worst kisser.
Frankie: What do you mean?
Sue: Out of nowhere, he puts his... his tongue... into... my mouth. Oh, my God. What is that? Who does that?
Frankie: Well...
Sue: I can't help but feel bad for him. It's like he totally forgot how to kiss. I mean, what place does a tongue have in kissing? What should I do? I mean, I don't want to embarrass him, but he has to be told. [gasps] Wait. I think I saw something on kickinitteenstyle.com on how to tell your boyfriend he's a bad kisser. I'm gonna go check it out.
Frankie: [v.o.] I really need to talk to Sue more.

Frankie: Brick, you can't just stare at someone when you like 'em. You kind of have to, you know... Jump in anytime, Dad.
Mike: Well, when I was your age and I liked a girl, I would ride my bike by her house.
Brick: Yeah, I don't know if people do that anymore. From what I've gleaned, they do more communicating through social media. You know, texts, tweets, and whatnot.
Mike: They also don't use words like "gleaned."
Frankie: That's perfect for you, Brick. No eye contact, all words.
Brick: Yeah. I guess that might be more apropos.
Mike: But don't say "apropos"! [to Frankie] We really should redo the basement so he'll have someplace to live.

Frankie: Okay, okay. Okay, what's next? Got to keep it rolling.
Brick: I'm gonna ask her if she's read Planet Nowhere.
All: No!
Brick: How about her feelings on fonts?
All: No!
Brick: Don't I want her to know the real me?!
All: No!
Axl: Oh, God, no!

Brick: Well, that was horrible.
Mike: Maybe next time, you listen to your mom.
Brick: No, it was a new kind of horrible. I mean, at the few elementary-school parties I was invited to, boys would run around and be stupid, but now there's boys and girls, and everyone just hangs out in the basement. Every time I turned up the lights to read, someone would just dim them down again. Next time I go to a party, I'm bringing my itty-bitty book light.