Frankie: I can't believe Axl has been texting you this whole time and he won't text me!
Mike: Oh, come on. He's texted you.
Frankie: Oh, I'm sorry. I was wrong. I did get one text. It said, "K-D-J-J-J." Pretty sure it was a butt text. So, yes, I have heard from Axl's butt.
Mike: Well, that's something.
Frankie: [whiny] I just don't get it, Mike! Why won't he text me back?! Why is he doing this to me?! Why won't he answer my calls?!
Mike: Maybe 'cause of that voice right there? I'm just saying, moms can be kind of clingy. You got to be cooler about this.
Frankie: I'm... cool.
Mike: Look, you can't text him all the time. You got to space them out. And if you just called him, maybe wait a couple days before you call him again. Oh, and be sure to hang up first. You don't want to be the rambly one. You want to make him come to you.
Frankie: I'm not trying to date my son.
Mike: Trust me, Frankie, you just got to give him time to miss you.
Frankie: But that could take years!

Brick: I couldn't sleep anyway, it was so hot. When are we getting the air conditioner fixed? I tried packing myself in popsicles, but I woke up covered in ants.
Mike: I told you, you don't fix the air conditioner when it's hot. You wait till winter when the AC guys are desperate, and then you get a discount. That's why I'm going tomorrow to look at snowblowers.
Brick: Is that why you guys didn't buy us any school supplies?
Frankie: No. That we just forgot.
Mike: Look, you can get them in a couple weeks when they're cheap. Meantime, you can just borrow from friends.
Brick: Um, that'll be probably be more of a two-step process.

Sue: Dad's right. I'm just gonna say it. I am glad that Axl's gone. And I'm not sorry for saying it, either. He insulted me roughly 56 times a day, and that's being conservative. I mean, you guys have no idea how many times it happened.
[flashback to Sue walking by Axl in the school hallway:]
Axl: Dork says, "Hey." [trips Sue]
Sue: Hey!
[flashback to Axl talking to his parents at the dinner table:]
Axl: I'm sorry, but I'm a huge supporter of animal rights, and I just think it's wrong to put a monkey in clothes. [points at Sue]
[flashback to Axl putting his hand on Sue's face:]
Axl: Which finger smells like butt? Which finger smells like butt, huh? Trick question. They all do.
Sue: Aah! Aggh!
[present:]
Sue: But that's all in the past now. Axl's reign of terror is over. We're done being called Pew and Ick. We are done cleaning his room only to find out there was no 10 bucks! Our time has come, Brick. If you won't sit in his chair, I will! We're free now. Our brother can't hurt us anymore. [the airconditioning vent crashes onto Sue's head] Still better than having him here.