Frankie Quote #848
Brick: Hang on. This is wrong. None of us are being fair to Mom here. Maybe if you made your case.
Frankie: Oh, please. I am not gonna make my case. [mouth full] Okay, fine. First of all, I'm the one that does all things kid-related. I sign all your permission slips, I run out and get you poster board, I clean that cesspool you call a backpack.
Mike: Frankie, don't do this.
Frankie: Oh, I'm doing it. Do you know all three of your heads were unnaturally large, thanks to your giant favorite parent over here's weird genetic quirk? And that after 27 months of carrying you people around, I can no longer sneeze or laugh or jump in the bouncy house without peeing?
Mike: They don't really need to know that.
Frankie: Okay. What about tonight? Who's the one that got us out of the house, that packed the blue bag full of tasty chicken, and searched the newspapers for the best park with the best view of the best fireworks, all so we could create one stinking memory of "this"? Well, if anybody's still confused, it was me. Me, me, me. So just lie down, stop talking, and start watching, because nothing says summer like fireworks!
[After the family lay down and stare up at the skies, fireworks go off in the distance behind them]
Frankie: Nobody... say... anything.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Dad, I know you're aware that since the incident at the drive-in, I've kinda been freezing you out.
Sue: I guess I just sorta felt like Serpico when his toymaker friend betrayed him, you know, before the pogrom guys burned down the wedding.
Mike: Again, three separate movies.
Quote from Axl
Mike: I'm just saying, East Indiana State is closer. You gotta consider that. We still don't know how much they're gonna play you, but I like the package they're putting together.
Axl: [mouth full] I don't want to be closer. I wanna be as far away from you people as possible. It's like when Tevye decided his town was too small, so he went on the flying car to New York to become a cop.
Mike: You do know that's three separate movies?
Quote from The Christmas Tree
Brick: Hey, Mom. Can I interest you in a decorative crock-pot cozy? Now you can leave your crock-pot out where everyone can see and save yourself unwanted embarrassment. It's for the women's club. These glasses are the prize for being their top seller.
Frankie: Let me guess. You're using the cozy money to pay off the peppermint-bark people.
Frankie: Brick, you're running a Ponzi scheme.
Brick: A Ponzi-what, now?
Frankie: You're using money you don't have to pay off the debt you had before, and now you got to go into even more debt to pay off this debt. It's an endless cycle. You're never gonna catch up.
Brick: Isn't that what you guys do with your credit cards?
Frankie: Well, yeah, but we're gonna die before they catch us.
Quote from The Shirt
Frankie: All I asked was for you to clean the bathroom! How hard is that?
Brick: Well, if you want to do it properly, you have to get to the root of the problem.
Frankie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Brick. We are not "root of the problem" people. The surface is where we live. You start chipping away and digging down to the root of everything, the whole place falls apart. The filth and grime is what's holding everything together. You want to see a video of how we fix things? We wipe, we slide, we shove, we close. If a drawer is too full to open, move on to the next one. Never open it again.