Brick Quote #233
Brick: Don't worry, Sue. You won't have to hear me go on and on anymore. I threw the catalog out. [whispers] I'm lying.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Well, we've been thinking, and we've come up with some ideas, you know, for changes and stuff?
Mike: Well, good. Good. [turns off TV] Yeah, I've been doing that, too.
Axl: We think we might need to change her food.
Brick: You know, their dietary needs do change as they get older.
Mike: She's not a dog.
Sue: Or maybe a multivitamin or something. She might need more iron.
Mike: That's it? That's what you came up with? That it's your mom's fault?
Axl: No. We do have another theory. How are things going in the boudoir, Dad? You getting the job done in there?
[cut to Axl rubbing his head in the bedroom:]
Axl: Wow. The old man moves pretty fast.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Yes! Food! Mmm. [eats from the bag] Ohh. Seriously? I just bought this yesterday. I just bought this yesterday! [empties bag into mouth]
Frankie: Shh. Hang on, Sue. She's about to solve the puzzle.
Sue: Oh, my God. Did you just eat that?
Frankie: Relax. Hmm? There's hardly any left. You know, when I buy the good snacks-
Sue: Axl clipped his toenails in there. The chip bag. Axl clipped his toenails in the chip bag! You just ate Axl's toenails!
Frankie: I just what? [screams] Aah! Oh, God! Animal!
Brick: What happened? What's going on?
Sue: Mom ate Axl's toenails.
Frankie: What is wrong with you people?! Damn it, Axl!
Quote from Hecks on a Train
Brick: Do we have any details about the cause of Aunt Edie's death?
Mike: Just one. She was 96.
Brick: Interesting. Has anyone questioned Helen Riley? She was the perennial runner-up to Aunt Edie in the church pie contest.
Quote from Mommapalooza
Sue: Okay, so, what do we do? Dad didn't give us enough drywall to fix a hole this big. He's gonna freak out.
Brick: I'm not gonna lie. It's gonna be really rough for you.
Sue: Me? You're the one who did this.
Brick: Well, you're the older sister who left her little brother to do major home repair on his own. Besides, if Dad flips out, I can just play the quirk card. I shrug, I look confused, throw in a few whoops and whispers, lick something if I have to... I'm off scot-free.
Sue: Oh, my God. You're diabolical.
Brick: I am not diabolical. [whispers] Diabolical. [normal voice] It's so easy. [whispers] It's so easy. [normal voice] Okay, that one wasn't planned.