Mike Quote #262

Quote from Mike in Valentine's Day II

Frankie: [v.o.] Certain things you can count on for Valentine's Day: flowers, candy, Mike ranting about flowers and candy...
Mike: I'm just saying it's not a real holiday. It's a scam cooked up by the greeting card companies, and everybody buys into it. Some college kid in an office building somewhere is gonna write a card telling me how I feel? I don't think so.
Frankie: You don't have to get me a card.
Mike: I'll get you your card. And what about the flowers? I got to bring flowers just 'cause it's February 14th? What if I want to bring you flowers on some other day of the year?
Frankie: You don't need to bring me flowers.
Mike: Yeah, I'm gonna be the one idiot in America who doesn't bring his wife flowers on Valentine's Day. Don't worry. You'll get your flowers.
Frankie: And while you're there, we need vacuum bags and a new plunger.


 ‘Valentine's Day II’ Quotes

Quote from Mike

Mike: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey! All right! That's it! That's it! We're shutting it down! Party's over! Here we go. You guys shouldn't be celebrating Valentine's Day anyway, because it's a scam cooked up by the greeting card companies. You know what you should be doing? You should be studying. 'Cause guess what they're doing in China right now? They are doing math and they're learning how to be C.E.O.S of greeting card companies so they can sell us Americans a heart-shaped load of crap!
[cut to Mike returning home:]
Mike: Banned.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: Hey, Brick, you're slowing down. Come on. You got 30 kids in the class. You got to keep moving.
Brick: Have you guys seen these things? It's candy with words on it. Candy and words? Who thought of this?
Frankie: Brick, we got to sign your name to the card, stick it in the envelope with a couple of hearts, lick it. Come on. Brick, stick, lick, done.
Brick: When did they invent these? "Be mine"... So simple, yet so profound. "Love ya"... genius!

 Mike Heck Quotes

Quote from Not Your Brother's Drop Off

Mike: How you doing balancing the checkbook?
Sue: Well, I must have done it wrong. I have your balance at minus $11.
Mike: No, you did it right. It's us who did it wrong. [Frankie and Mike high-five]

Quote from Survey Says...

Mike: You know when I was happiest? I mean really happy? When I was driving everybody. When they were small, and I'd be driving. Didn't matter where. It was just me at the wheel and you next to me and those three idiots in the back. And I knew everything was okay, 'cause I was driving. And I had it. I had everybody.