Mike Quote #230
Quote from Mike in Errand Boy
Sue: Hey, Dad. Why do you still have the sleeping bag?
Mike: They didn't want it. They don't realize how terrific this sleeping bag is. If they can't appreciate this sleeping bag... To hell with 'em.
Sue: It's really not that great. I think Mom found it at the church. [Sue signals for Mike to sit down next to her] Wow, what an awesome week. First, a Wrestlerette almost borrows my sleeping bag. And now I get to watch most a movie with just my Dad.
Frankie: [v.o.] Mike knew the truth would come out. Somebody would text somebody, who'd put it on their Facebook page that there was a party, and she wasn't there, and he was. Yep, there was gonna be a whole lot of junior high pain coming Sue's way tomorrow. So Mike decided they should just enjoy tonight.
Mike: So explain to me again why her only choices for a date are a vampire and a wolf man.
Sue: It's not a date, Dad. They're battling for Bella's soul. And see that one there, Edward... He's in love with Bella, but then Taylor Lautner came along.
Mike: He's the one with the abs?
Sue: Exactly. And so now she's sort of conflicted, because she had to choose between Taylor Lautner and his gorgeous abs and Robert Pattinson and that hair.
The Middle Quotes
‘Errand Boy’ Quotes
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: "Uh-oh"? That's all you can say? Why were you even using the oven?
Brick: Well, you didn't tell me not to. You said no pay-per-view, no baths, no-
Frankie: I didn't think I had to! Nobody in this house ever uses the oven! That's why I use it to store Aunt Pearl's quilt!
Brick: I just wanted to make pizza rolls.
Frankie: Microwave is for pizza rolls! The oven is for bulky storage. See, this is what happens when I go against my instincts. You are never staying home alone again! End of story!
Brick: Hello? I still need my lunch.
Quote from Brick
[Frankie slowly closes the door while keeping an eye on brick. She walks over to the window and looks in.]
Frankie: [v.o.] What was I worried about? All he does is sit on the couch and read anyway. Everything was gonna be fine. [Frankie walks away] And it would've been fine... If he hadn't finished his book.
[Brick goes over and turns the garbage disposal on]
[Brick goes to the bathroom, drinks some mouthwash and spits it back into the bottle]
[Brick plays with Axl's electric guitar]
[Brick walks around like a robot after putting a metal strainer on his head and wrapping foil around himself]
Frankie: [v.o.] And there he was, right where I left him. What was I worried about? [sniffs] Ah! Brick, what happened?! [fire alarm beeps] Brick, what- Oh! Brick!
Brick: Uh-oh.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Mike, this is junior high girl drama we're talking about here. It's a minefield. Trust me. Ya can't just go stomping in there, or you'll get your legs blown off.
Mike: When did girls get like this? I thought girls were nice.
Frankie: [scoffs] Girls are horrible to each other. How can you not know that?
Mike: I've never driven 'em to the movies before. So this is just how girls are?
Frankie: Yep.
Mike: And there's nothing we can do?
Frankie: No.
Mike: Brutal. I gotta tell ya, I wouldn't last ten seconds as a girl.
Frankie: Now you see why we eat so much chocolate? [sighs]