TV Quotes

Frankie: Ta-da!
Brick: Nah, I think I'll keep the new one. Thanks, though.
Frankie: You just said that you missed it. You said it was throwing you off.
Brick: I can't tell if it's you or the backpack, but something smells pretty rank. Besides, the other kids in my class seem to like this... Shaquille O'Neal character. Maybe it'll help me fit in more. [whispers] Shaquille O'Neal character.

Mike: And Sue's middle name would be?
Frankie: You know her middle name. "Sue." Remember?
Mike: Oh.
Frankie: They wrote it down twice on her birth certificate by accident. We keep saying we're gonna go down and change it, and we never do.

Sue: Hey, Dad... Why do you think the tour guide gave me all these brochures? There's a Cherokee weaving workshop, and here's one on the headdress exhibit at the art museum.
Mike: Hmm, that's weird. They didn't give that stuff to anybody else?
Sue: Mnh-mnh.
Mike: I don't know. It's not like you're Native American.
Sue: Yes, I am.
Mike: N-no, Sue. You're not.
Sue: Sure, I am. I mean, that's what I put on my forms.
Mike: What? Why did you do that?
Sue: 'Cause I'm a native of America. I'm a native American.
Mike: Sue, now they think you're Native American!
Sue: Right, a native American.
Mike: [sighs] Say, "I'm a native American."
Sue: I'm a native American. Oh! I hear it now. Well, what was I supposed to check? There was no other option that seemed right. It's not like we're "ca-kah-zee-an."
Mike: Actually, Sue, we are.
Sue: What?! Oh, my God, this is horrible! They're gonna think that I tried to pull one over on them, that I lied on my forms, and it says it's a felony to lie on those forms. Oh, my God! I committed a felony! [music box plays] [vomits]

Mike: Hang on a sec. Where's all this money coming from?
Sue: Well, I've been using my Spudsy's money, and I popped all the quarters out of my 50 states collector's book, and I've been donating plasma. I'm not exactly sure what plasma is, and I don't know if you need it, but, from the way I've been feeling, I'm guessing you do.