Dr. Fulton: Okay, well, what about these boys makes you think they'll be receptive to you?
Brick: Well, Parker got assigned to me in science lab, and he didn't groan. And the whole time we worked together, he tolerated me.
Dr. Fulton: Ooh, tolerating is progress.
Brick: I'm gonna make my move this Saturday on the trip to the robotics exhibit at the museum.
Dr. Fulton: Mm.
Brick: Pretend this is the bus.
Dr. Fulton: Ah.
Brick: [clears throat] When we're lining up to get on, I slip in between Dante and Parker. Once we're in, Dante sits down first. I immediately sit next to him. If for some reason that doesn't work, I've got Parker right behind me as a backup. I'm guaranteed to sit with one of them.
Dr. Fulton: That's a good plan. But remember... once you're in, do not leave, all right, because... Well, here, let me show you. Once, I... I left to go get a coffee stirrer, right? Then the next thing I know, that ponytailed, tofu-head barista is sitting with Shelly. They're getting married on Saturday. Yeah. Do you know I can't drink coffee anymore, Brick?
Brick: I did not.

Sue: Oh! Um, I texted Axl if I could stay with him this weekend, and he just texted back, "Awesome, can't wait to see you."
Frankie: Is there an emoticon with it, like sad face barfing?
Sue: No.
Brick: Hey, maybe it's an April Fools' joke.
Sue: That's still a few days away. Oh, but maybe he's setting me up for something when I'm there. You know what? I don't care! I'm going to college for the weekend! Whoo!

Frankie: [v.o.] At least I wasn't the only one having a crappy Saturday. For the past year, whenever Big Mike was out of the house, Rusty would call Mike to come over and secretly weed out the junk.
Mike: Oh, good, you got a head start.
Rusty: Oh, no. Just catching up on my news. [chuckles] Reagan died.
Mike: Rusty, we got to move here. We don't know when Dad's coming back.
Rusty: Oh, no worries. I already got rid of a C.B. radio and five microwaves.
Mike: Whoa. Don't throw out too much of one thing, or he'll notice. Remember, we're just thinning.
Rusty: Oh, I didn't do it yet. No, I just put Post-Its on them so you could do it. Not really Post-its. Actually, just...
just little pieces of toilet paper.
Mike: Okay.

Rusty: Hey! Hey, Mike, look at this. [chuckles] We should finish our game.
Mike: What? No. We're not here to goof around. We're here to trick Dad and sneak out his stuff.
Rusty: Well, that makes sense you wouldn't want to finish because I was winning.
Mike: You weren't winning. I had more countries.
Rusty: Yeah, but I had just rolled a 6. I was about to take over Asia.
Mike: Wait. Wait. I remember now. You rolled a 6 off the board. It doesn't count.
Rusty: Does.
Mike: Doesn't.
Rusty: Does.
Mike: Just 'cause you keep saying "does" doesn't make it true.
Rusty: Well, no, being true makes it true.
Mike: Fine. I'll let you roll again, see what you get.

Sue: All right, Axl, what is going on?
Axl: What? Nothing.
Sue: Oh, please! You didn't shoot any straws at me at the restaurant. You didn't lick my bread and then put it back on my plate. The whole day, you have been calling me "Sue."
Axl: Look, there's nothing going on, hmm? The thing is, maybe it's you getting into college, maybe it's you getting your braces off after four million years, but you're not the same dork you were. So I'm trying to treat you the way you said you always wanted me to treat you. Unless, of course, now you're saying you don't want me to.
Sue: What? No. No, no, no. If you mean it... that's great. It's like a dream come true.
Frankie: [v.o.] Sue couldn't believe her new relationship with her brother. But then Axl made one fatal error. He kissed her for the first time in his life. Calling her by her actual name was one thing, but a kiss? She knew he was up to something.
Devin: I love that you two are so close.
Axl: Yeah. Well... you do for family.
Frankie: [v.o.] And there it was.

Dr. Fulton: Okay, never thought I'd be at a robotics exhibit with a bunch of middle-schoolers on a Saturday night, but here we are. Life's a journey. No flash photography.
Frankie: [v.o.] Don't say anything. Don't say anything, Frankie. Don't say anything.
Frankie: Excuse me. I just have to say one thing. You know, you said the kids were fine, but the truth is, your kid was fine. My kid was not fine. My kid sat by himself for the whole two-hour ride, so maybe it would have been a little finer if you had told your kid to sit next to my kid because 13-year-old boys are horrible. You can't just let them make their own decisions. If it was up to them, they would have ice cream for breakfast. But we don't give them ice cream for breakfast, right? [stammers] I don't. I mean, I have, if it's their birthday or we're out of milk, but not usually. The point is, you're teaching your kid to just look out for number one, and now he's gonna grow up to run companies and wreck Wall Street! Now, do you know if we keep the 3D glasses or not? Ugh, forget it! I'll ask somebody else!

Dr. Fulton: Hey, mom. Looks like somebody had an appointment at the angry salon for a "mad-icure."
Frankie: [sighs] You heard that, huh? Well... [stammers] I was right. I-I have the blood of righteousness coursing through my veins.
Dr. Fulton: Mm, this might be more about you than Brick. He's having a great time. I mean, even if he was bothered by what happened, he has a good coping mechanism. We all need coping mechanisms. Like, I was upset that Shelly was getting married today... But now I'm not even thinking about her. It's almost like she's begging me to interrupt the wedding.
Frankie: [sighs] It's just, being a parent to Brick is hard. It's just so hard. And, I mean, I was spoiled because, with Axl, it was all so easy. He always had friends.
[flashback:]
Sean: [to Darrin and Axl] Way to blow that wide-open lay-up, dude. I totally saved you with that sick three from...
Woman: Hey, do they want to ride with Brandon? He's got room in his car. He...
Frankie: Oh, they're fine. Good game. Bye!
[present:]
Frankie: Oh, my God. I did it, too. I was one of the "they're fine" moms. Ugh. See? This is why I don't sign up for field trips.
Dr. Fulton: Well, you can't beat yourself up. We all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them and move on. Seriously, though, the wedding's over at the first Baptist Church on Elm Street. Should I do it?

Rusty: Ah. I lost again. Hey, I should bring my duffel bag up here. [chuckles] Now, when I'm at a bar, I won't have to ask women to go back to the tire room. Now I can ask them to come back to my boyhood room. And if they think that's weird, I'll just tell them, "It's okay. My mom's dead." [chuckles]

Axl: That's it! I'm done! Brothers and sisters should not love each other! It's unnatural! We're not supposed to get close till Mom and Dad start dying!
Sue: He's a fraud, Devin! He's done a lot of bad things to me with glue. He's been playing you!
Devin: Actually, I've been playing him. Axl, all that crap about it being super important to me that you get along with your sister... not so much. April Fools', sucka.
Axl: [gasps] You made me kiss my sister's head.
Devin: Yeah. That was awesome. Did not see that coming. Sorry, Sue. I didn't mean to make you my pawn.
Sue: [scoffs] Are you kidding? It was great. He kissed me on the head and he cuddled me and I have pictures to prove it. [chuckles] Oh! Sean Donahue liked it.
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, no matter how you got there, your brother being nice to you is your brother being nice to you.

Parker: Hey.
Brick: Hey.
[Frankie mouths "thank you" to Parker's mom]
Frankie: [v.o.] At the end of the day, it's nice to know that, as moms, we all share a bond. We're all joined together in one, big club where...
Frankie: Brick, what are you doing here?
Brick: Eh, I'm done. I sat with him for a whole minute. I figured I should go out on a high. I left in the middle of a sentence so we wouldn't have any awkward silences.
Frankie: [v.o.] There's nothing awkward about that.
Brick: Oh, and I left my lunch box back at the museum. [Frankie sighs] April Fools'! I didn't. It was my sweatshirt. April Fools'! It was my lunch box and my sweatshirt. [Frankie sighs]