Brad: Sue, I'm telling you. This is a good sign he wants to see you again.
Sue: Not necessarily. He's just being nice. That's probably why he kissed me in the first place.
Brad: You know what we need to do?
Sue: Send him a dolphin emoji?
Brad: No, definitely not. We need to set up another kiss opportunity.
Sue: And then if he kisses me again, we'll know he really likes me.
Brad: I have an idea, but we need an old streetcar, a homeless saxophone player, and 30 racially diverse extras.

Frankie: Hey! Thanks for the Christmas gift. And by the way, nice try. You're still not going to get out of scratching my back. You dropped foot rubbing. But, yeah, that's right. You're still going to have to touch me.

Sue: Okay, remember when I said I liked somebody, but I wasn't ready to tell you, but I'd tell you when the moment was right?
Frankie: This is it? This is the moment? It's happening?
Sue: It's happening.
Frankie: [gasps] Oh, my God! Spill.
Sue: It's Sean.
Frankie: Sean who? Sean Penn? Sean Connery? Sean the bagger from the Frugal Hoosier?
Sue: Noooo.
Frankie: [gasps] Shut up!
Sue: Yeah, can you believe it?
Frankie: This is crazy. And I have to say, Sue, I am so touched that you told me first. I wonder if Sean told Nancy. Oh, shut up, Frankie, it's not a competition.

Frankie: Oh, Sue, this is amazing. I am so happy for you.
Sue: But then it just stopped.
Frankie: What do you mean, "it stopped"? Who stopped it? You stopped it or he stopped it?
Sue: I don't know! I am so confused. I don't even know if he likes me.
Frankie: Of course he likes you. People don't go around kissing people they don't like. And anyway, he started it, right? He kissed you first? Oh, come on, Sue. You don't know who started it, you don't know who stopped it. This is not the best post-kiss report I've ever heard.
Sue: I know! But I might have leaned in first and he maybe only kissed me back to be polite.
Frankie: It is a very Donahue thing to do.
Sue: Then once it stopped, we just started apologizing to each other. Is that normal? Do people apologize for kissing people they like?
Frankie: Only after you burp, but that's much later. Listen, of course he likes you. I mean, you're a smart, wonderful, adorable woman. Any guy would be lucky to have you.

Axl: I'm sorry, Brick. I just really don't want to go on this trip.
Brick: On the plus side, every time we see Grandpa Big Mike he gives us each $5.
Axl: Yeah, I guess, but five bucks doesn't get you that much anymore. I feel like he could kick it up a notch.
Brick: Well, he is pretty old. He probably still thinks $5 is a lot of money.
Axl: Of course he does! Pretty sure he bought his house for, like, $5. But this is untenable, Brick. That means not tenable. Okay, let me think. Hold on. Oh, okay. Here's the plan. When we see Grandpa, drop a few hints. You know, casually work into the conversation that things cost more these days.
Brick: I could mention bookmarks have gone from a nickel to eight cents.
Axl: Have they ever done genetic testing on us 'cause I'd be very interested in those results.

Mike: You know, Dad, I gave up my day off to drive you. It doesn't seem like an unreasonable request to ask where we're going.
Big Mike: I paid for the gas.
Axl: Which, by the way, has also gone up in price. Our generation is really taking a hit.
Brick: So what you're saying, brother, is... just to pick a number out of the air... $5 from yesteryear is equal to $10 today? Wow!
Axl: Wow is right.

Frankie: [v.o.] And then out of the blue, a strange thing happened.
Big Mike: Did I ever tell you guys about the time I traded my horse for a bike?
Frankie: [v.o.] Grandpa Big Mike actually started talking.
Big Mike: I was about 11 years old...
Frankie: [v.o.] And once he started, he couldn't stop.
Big Mike: ...bike and I wanted one in the worst way.

Sue: It's been a week, Brad, and not one word. A week! That has to be a sign, right? Brad, are you even listening to me?
Brad: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm still trying to figure out this socket wrench thingy my dad got me for Christmas. I asked for a yoga ball and he gets me this.
Sue: You know what this means, right? Sean obviously regretted the whole thing. I don't know what to do. I mean, I talked to my mom, but she just gave me the typical mom speech.
Brad: Let me guess, "You're beautiful and any man would be lucky to have you". I got the same speech from my mom.

Mike: Come on, Dad. Knock it off. We don't want you to die.
Big Mike: Of course you don't 'cause you're next.
Axl: Wait, Grandpa, what?
Brick: You have so much to live for!
Big Mike: Like what? [Mike, Axl and Brick look at each other] Look, I've already told you my stories. There's no point in dragging this out.
Mike: Alright, Dad, if that's the way you want it. See ya later.
Brick: Wait. What?!
Axl: Dad, we can't just...
[As Mike walks towards the car, Big Mike lays down on the ground]

Frankie: So, what's up?
Sue: I need you to throw a New Year's Eve party tonight.
Frankie: What?! Tonight? Sue, that's crazy. You don't throw a New Year's Eve party at the last minute. Besides, I just had a Christmas Eve party and the only food I have are these leftover baloney rolls, which are suspect at best.
Sue: Well, Brad and I were talking and we thought a good way to figure out if Sean likes me is if he kisses me for a second time on New Year's Eve. I mean, doesn't Dad always kiss you on New Year's Eve?
Frankie: Your dad's usually asleep by 9:30, but I suppose he would. Eh, I can't guarantee it.
Sue: Mom, please! I need to figure this thing out one way or the other. I can't go back to school feeling this way. My nerves can't handle it. My stomach is all fliberdoo... Oh, that's why it auto-corrected to that.
Frankie: [sighs] Okay, clean the dog puke in the back hallway and fire up the bathroom candle. The Hecks are having a party.